By Natasha J. Rosewood
"I'm fine," my client responded to my question about her recent break-up. While she wore a brave smile, her body language portrayed a much older and deeper grief.
Unresolved grief manifests in many different forms. While insanity, cancer, paranoia and depression are extreme manifestations of unexpressed sorrow, I am also witness to loss of productivity, sabotaging behaviors and ongoing malaise. "Just get over it," is a clich in our culture for a reason. But despite our disdain of it, grieving is good. If you are tired of feeling tired, here is a 12-tip process that could start you on your journey to clearing your grief and celebrating full emotional health:
- Name your pain - identify the event and the date.
- Acknowledge your challenges and how each one affected you.
- Write a story about each one as it happened to you.
- Write another version as if it happened to someone else.
- Write another version as if you had chosen the learning.
- Write the final story as if it was the funniest thing that had ever happened.
- Find a witness (friend or therapist) who you can validate your pain.
- Feel compassion for yourself.
- If depression persists, check in with a therapist.
- Ask yourself how could this experience promote your spiritual growth?
- Know that this experience was designed to remind you of your greatness.
- Move forward in joy!