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Exercise 1: To Be & To Accept That Which IS

Sit facing your partner and spend some time becoming comfortable in the other's presence. Look each other calmly in the eyes. Be comfortable just being your self, without shrinking away or putting any kind of shield or false personality in between you and the other. Accept the other as he or she is. Accept yourself as you are. With a high degree of empathy and understanding, this acceptance of yourself and another is Love.

You will find your mind thinking thoughts and your body having feelings. Your body-mind is not all you are, you are more than your body-mind! When you are just Being, there are no thoughts, but the mind is hard to stop, it runs away with itself and like a machine, it reacts to a stimulus.

If the other person looks at you in one way, the mind says that's OK; if the person looks at you another way, or if you imagine they do, then the mind may say that's not OK, and come up with thoughts and feelings in reaction to a perceived threat.

One thing a person says may be OK, another thing may cause such a negative reaction, that takes you away from the desired state of acceptance where you can be and calmly communicate with empathy and understanding.

You are being yourself but then something is said that causes your mind to react; maybe what was said reminded your mind of an earlier experience that was threatening or upsetting. In these moments you are not yourself, the mind takes over and answers reactively.

You are YOU when your are simply yourself, accepting reality as it is, without resistance nor force. You are yourself when you communicate rationally and clearly, or just BE comfortably, without influence from the reactive contents of mind. So now practice this.


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