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Create Intimacy

Commentary by Peter Shepherd
Create Intimacy
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~ Leo Buscaglia
Too much of our daily life tends to lack the intimacy of empathic communication, so when we do experience it, it's very life-affirming. And as Shakti Gawain says, “My willingness to be intimate with my own deep feelings creates the space for intimacy with another.”
“Although we seem to be separate individuals, in reality we are all expressions of one primal imagination. We assume we are many, but in fact we are one. And what we do to each other we do to ourselves.” ~ Timothy Freke
Love is what we feel when we realize we are one - separate players in the game of life but joined together in essence, sharing our space. Intimacy is not purely physical. It's the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul.
“Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.” ~ Albert Einstein
We're so influenced by the cultural trance and conforming to expectations of others, and tied to our own safe solutions and fixed ideas, and suppressing of true feelings that conflict, so that contacting life directly with our soul becomes rare. But we can change that.
“Let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
~ Kahlil Gibran
Create Intimacy
Workshop C9 ~ Create Intimacy

Trans4mind Training offers a wide range of interactive video workshops, covering each of the major life challenges we encounter in our lives. 'Create Intimacy' is the ninth workshop in the Enhancing Relationships Module of 9 workshops.

A friend of mine describes intimacy as into-me-see, which I think is a lovely way of describing what happens when we drop our defenses and meet at the level of our shared humanity. This is important because it is in totally knowing another and being totally known by another that we discover our uniqueness - for the best way to know ourselves is to share ourselves - then all that was hidden comes forth to be expressed and discovered.

What a joy it is to completely trust another human being. What healing takes place in such an open exchange. When we share our vulnerability, open and defenseless, we come, perhaps for the first time, into the reality of ourselves and into the present, where true love resides. Furthermore such into-me-see can happen between any two human beings - indeed the very word human being has the present moment built into it. This was the natural state of our ancestors and of a few untarnished native peoples still present in the world today.

As modern people we can have it all - a technically enhanced life and loving relationships. All we need to do is to see a way through all the pretense and punditry that has gathered to blur our natural state of connection. This workshop will give you the tools to let down your defenses and to know and be known. It explores ways of understanding and experiencing intimacy that can enrich relationships with the people in your life and, just as importantly, with yourself.

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Article about creating intimacy...

Sustainable Intimacy in Relationships - by Alison Poulsen, Ph.D.

Many people confuse intimacy with closeness. Intimacy does not thrive where there is too much all-accepting, all-validating closeness with another person. In order to develop greater intimacy, then, we need to stop limiting ourselves due to fear of our partner's reactions. Once we can tolerate the discomfort of their reactions, we no longer need to feign agreement, laugh at a poor joke, wear the ugly dress, or dumb down our conversation to avoid upsetting our partner. Continues...

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