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Being Criticised!

  People criticise us for three reasons:
  1. We can do better in some area, for ourselves and for others.
  2. The other person has done something wrong to us or to others unjustly.
  3. We have done something which is wrong for ourselves or for others, by harming them unjustly.

When another criticises us, often they have done something wrong to us (usually without our knowledge). What they say surprises and confuses us because of the over-reaction or complete fabrication.We mentally search for what we might have done (although we did nothing). Because we turn inwards to search for an answer, we go into a trance. In this state, we recall some bad things we have done (although they might not be that bad!) and this makes us feel bad. The other has concealed their bad acts to us and hurt us more.

We should always think:

"What have you done or said, which you wouldn't like me to find out about?"

We would say, however:

You seem to be upset about something, let's sit down and talk it over. Now what specifically has been annoying you?

After you listened to the complaints, ask:

We have talked about what I have done wrong. Now I wonder if there is something you'd like to tell me?

Look them in the eyes and wait for the answer. For more information please visit: The Positive Approach

For more information please visit: The Positive Approach