How to Talk So Others Listen With Their Hearts
| People, you and I, act to get
good feelings or to get something that gives us good feelings.
Telling yourself 'the house is a mess and I'd better clean it', is less motivating than telling yourself 'the house is a mess, and, after I've cleaned it, I won't be embarrassed when friends visit, so I'm going to feel really good'
You give yourself an appealing emotional reason or motive to clean the house . You explicitly state a motive that makes you feel emotionally good.. Learning these short articles enables you to communicate to people about what THEY want, so that your communications will be that much more effective, and you will get great satisfaction out of it.
If you have no emotional reason for reading these articles, you won't want to read them! However, different people may have different emotional reasons. Even if you don't give a fig about communication, you might be keen to read this material to satisfy your curiosity - a powerful emotional reason. Others may have different emotional reasons, but everyone has an emotional reason for doing something. Even if it is to read it to please their spouse!
To use this technique you need to find out makes the other feel good. This means you have to care about people. You need to be interested in them to use it properly - a good way to improve your interpersonal relationships.
The method is to ask someone to do something and tell them that - after they do it - they will experience good emotional feelings!
Are you aware of how easy it is to change when you know how to?
This short article is written by Ken Ward.
Ken Ward and Peter Shepherd are co-authors of The Positive Approach.
Most recent revision 11 November 1999
For more information please visit: The Positive Approach