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Would you like to know a secret?

This is the first article in this list which deals with us as spiritual beings operating fully and effectively in the world and at the same time seeking our spiritual purpose and development. This article is about worldly effectiveness ...

Would you like to know a secret? Shall I tell you? Even if you already know it, at least in your heart, and like me you are probably ignoring it most of the time?

There are two things you can do to attain whatever you want, at least with others. They are very simple to state. The first secret is 'Give people more of what they want.' If you give people more of what they want then they will like you more and you will get more of what you want. Simple isn't it? Pretty obvious isn't it? But is this something we, others and society do when we want something?

Let's look at some examples. If you want a pay rise at work, and you tell the boss you want to talk to him or her about a pay rise, do you think you are giving them more of what they want? Do they want to give you a pay rise? (Do you want to give people money?) Is this giving people more of what they want?

However, suppose you say, "Boss, I've been thinking and I've got a few ideas on how we can do such and such in a way that could make us a lot more money. When do you think you we talk about it?" Is the boss more interested in having a meeting now? Don't we want to have money rather than give it?

And suppose you want someone special to spend more time with you. If you tell them you are fed up being left alone while they slope off and do something they like. If you tell them they had better cancel their plans - or find someone else! Are you giving them more of what they want? Or are you giving them something they don't want - hassle?

On the other hand, if you tell them you've got, say, two tickets for something they really like and ask them if they'd like to go with you, are you giving them more of what they want, and also getting what you want too?

The examples are unlikely to be right for you, but by understanding the principle 'that we get more of what we want by giving others more of what they want', and by applying it to what we actually do, then we start getting more of what we want by ensuring we are not giving others more of what they don't want, and giving them more of what they do want!

The second secret is that you get more of what you want by giving others less of what they don't want. You can be just as effective using this technique as using the first one, if not more so.

Remember that these principles also apply when we are communicating with ourselves, to our self talk and self thinking. Are you really giving yourself more of what you want and less of what you don't want?

Whenever you have to deal with a situation measure your plans by these secrets. And if you are not giving yourself or others more of what you or they want, or less of what they don't want, then try to find another way that does give them more of what they want and less of what they don't want!

Will you notice carefully how you use these secrets in the following week and weeks and perhaps share your discoveries?

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Most Recent Revision: 20-Mar-99.
Copyright 1998, 1999 Ken Ward,
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