|In the last few weeks we have looked at different types of oppositions that stand in
our way to full development.
We looked at six-step reframing and negotiating between parts. We also looked at reasons for not wanting to change.
This week we continue this subject and look at lost parts.
We sometimes hear people say:
I have lost my youth.
I have never been the same since then.
I used to bright and happy, but now everything is grey and miserable.
Whatever the content, this type of expression literally refers to a past time when we had something which we no longer have. A part of us has gone away and we think we will never have it again.
The truth is we never really lose these things. Although our conscious mind is limited, our unconscious mind never forgets and retains all abilities, feelings and knowledge - even if we cannot always retrieve it. These precious psychic qualities which we think we have lost are still around and it is up to us to retrieve them.
Much of this is the subject of legend and myth. King Arthur's nights went to search for that which was the lost, the Holy Grail. This image has fascinated people ever since the old legend was told.
In other cultures, people speak of losing parts of one's self or even one's soul, and the shaman has the task of going off and finding it and returning it.
Yet such things are not merely the stuff of legend and myth. Parts processing is, perhaps one of the most powerful ways of bringing about desirable change quickly. And it bridges over from psychology into spiritual matters.
When we feel we have lost something related to our psychic nature, we can use the following process to retrieve it.
Let's use as an example someone who has lost their spirit of joy and play in life. We can ask if they can remember a time when they had it. Merely doing this brings back the feeling to some extent. But this is not the real intention of this process. We discover when we lost our joy of life and then begin our quest to retrieve it.
Although it sounds strange, usually people can understand this and they can look around and find that which they have lost. Where is it now? Normally it is somewhere in space and time, but on other occasions it can be in other universes or realms. Where ever it is, you go and find it. One lady found her spirit of joy still in a house she lived in in childhood. It was still playing in the garden. Another found their Health hiding after hearing about the illness of another. However the lost part is represented to you, you have the task of finding it and getting into communication with it.
We can do this quite informally or use what we have learned in other parts processes. The basic question here is 'Why the part has left you?'
List carefully to what it says and deal with any issues it might raise. You might agree to certain things so that it can come back to you. For example, your joy of life might require you to spend more time having fun and respecting its frivolity. Your Health might want you to change your lifestyle. All this is individual and depends on you and your Part.
It might take several conversations and visits for you to persuade it to return to you. You might agree that it comes to you sometimes, for the start.
When that lost part agrees to return and comes back to you image it moving towards you and uniting with you. You might stretch out your arms to hug it and assimilate it within you. You can then enjoy the wonderful feeling of reunion as you regain that which was lost!
Most Recent Revision: 4-Apr-99.
Copyright © 1998, 1999 Ken Ward,
All Rights Reserved.