Folks usually do it, you know
We are looking at the being specific model in this series. This model is about what really happens and what really goes on. By really, I mean the physical universe. Here someone usually experiences something in a visual, auditory (hearing), touching, or smelling or tasting. When we report something we often speak of something seen, heard, felt or smelt or tasted.
Sometimes, when we use language, we get very abstract and leave out the senses. However, there is something else which might be left out, and that is the person. Almost everything (if not everything) has to do with people. Do you remember the excuse, the computer made a mistake? Well, we usually use this excuse for mistakes the computer couldn't make all on its own. We miss out the person who told it wrong. We hope the person complaining will tell the computer off, and forget to yell at us!
If a volcano erupts, this may have little to do with people, but we can only know it erupts if someone reports it. When we say, 'This is unacceptable!', we forget to say who finds it unacceptable. Things can be more persuasive if we make them into a mystery. If we hide something in our language, then the resulting expression can be much more persuasive. The being specific model brings these bits we have omitted into awareness again and separates the reasonable statements from those which are all hot air.
Don't worry about losing all this hot air, though, later on we will learn how to pump it back in again! But for now we are learning how to recognise and deal with unclear and vague expressions.
This is the best deal you will get anywhere!
When we talk about comparisons, we compare one thing with another. When we want to be persuasive we forget to say what we are comparing it with.
Einstein is the greatest scientist that ever lived.
This is the most exciting holiday you can get.
This mailing list is simply the best!
And don't forget there are usually people involved here, and they are left out too. (What a shame!) So let's not be unkind, and grab the folks back:
This computer deal is the best in town.
You can't get anything better than this.
She runs like an antelope.
No. Very fast!
So don't forget that when we compare two things we need to say in which way we are comparing them.
This is the best deal.
I'd rather go to the cinema.
Sometimes the fact we are comparing is not ever so clear:
This is excellent.
Listen to this marvellous idea!
So, to get better at communication, practice all the parts of the being specific model that you have learned in the series and practice dealing with comparisons. This is the best way to develop your communication skills! You will find yourself improving beyond your wildest dreams! You won't believe the excellent results!!!
So, I've got a sense of humour!!!
Please visit the New Life Course - and bring your Mind back to Life!
Previous: About what.htm (8/1/99)
List of Postings: Postings.htm
Next: Mind Reading.htm (24/1/99)
Most Recent Revision: 20-Mar-99.
Copyright © 1998, 1999 Ken Ward,
All Rights Reserved.