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I have everything one could ask for so why do I feel something is missing in my life?


heart to heart The questioner's philosophy
I think life is wonderful! I was born and raised as Muslim but now I am only Spiritual. I do not practice any religion. I know that there is a Higher Power that is in control of everything including my breath and my heart beat. I love and respect this Power. Now I know that life is what you make of it. I played the victim all my life until I got a wake up call one day by realizing that nobody gets in my head and thinks my thoughts. I am doing this all by myself. I am not where I want to be spiritually but I am getting better and better everyday. My only issue is that I do not follow through on my goals and dreams and I do not know what is holding me back.
The questioner's hopes and aspirations
I love life and I tend to give encouraging words to all my family and my co-workers. My hope is one day we all realize that the Peace we seek is within us and that we are all One. I may not be around when this happens but I know that some of us are already realizing it.
Question
I have read many books and I am getting better than I used to be. But why do I feel like something is missing in my life? I have two beautiful girls and a wonderful husband, a job and a home. But I am never content. I want more and more and more but I do not know how to go about getting what I really want. I know I inspire a lot of people. And a lot of people like to be around me because I am very positive but deep inside I am not happy or fulfilled. How can I reach that feeling? What do I need to do to reach that level of contentment and unconditional love? I make people feel better but I do not feel that way inside.
Wallace's reply
Wallace
I've heard Priests and Ministers of religion talk the same way. They are able to uplift and inspire others but feel hollow and disconnected inside themselves. It is possible to have an initial positive impact on others by our words of uplift and encouragement but to be able to truly nurture connection to the divine in others we must embody this connection ourselves.

I sense from your enquiry and from your wanting "more and more and more", that your energy is very outgoing and somewhat scattered. You need to draw this energy inward and center it within yourself. Your aim is to create an increasing separation between external events (events outside yourself) and your internal reactions. You need to break the link between something that happens and your habitual reaction to what has happened.

You have already done this when you went beyond feeling a victim of life's circumstances. Now I want you to use the same insights you gained from going beyond feeling a victim and apply them to all other habitual reactions you have to external events. For example if you notice someone feeling low in spirits and you have an habitual reaction to offer words of encouragement and advice, stop for a moment and ask yourself if such words are appropriate at this time. It is not always wise or necessary to be encouraging and advising others. Sometimes people want to be still and silent or want to do something ordinary without interruption - even if they are in a lost or depressed state.

By noticing how you react in habitual ways to external circumstances you become increasingly aware of patterns of behavior. I suggest you start a daily journal and write in it every night before going to bed, the habitual patterns you discovered you had that day. As you become increasingly aware of these habitual patterns and how they run your life, you will be able to gradually transcend them - just like you did when you transcended your habitual pattern of reacting like a victim.

Instead of reacting I want you to learn to respond creatively to external events. An habitual reaction is almost predictable, a creative response is always unpredictable because it is a response tailored to the uniqueness of that particular moment. That is why the behavior of spiritually enlightened people can appear so challenging and sometimes threatening - it is so unpredictable.

The spiritual journey is a journey into immense freedom - not the freedom promised by politicians, but freedom from your habitual reactions - freedom within yourself. By becoming aware of your habitual reactions and going beyond them, your need for always having more will fade and your energy, which was previously so scattered, will gradually become centered within.

When you are centered within you will be giving a higher priority to inner goals, like remaining peaceful in demanding situations by not reacting. By placing your inner goals first and working on them to become remain centered it will be easy for you to follow through on the goals and dreams you have for your outer life.

Further Help and Resources
As you gradually become centered you will discover, and learn to tune into, your intuition, or to use the term I prefer - inner guidance - and live your life through its creative expression. I sense that my book, Unfold Your Wings and Watch Life Take Off will help you tune into this neglected aspect of your Self and so hasten your transition to a peaceful, creative and harmonious person.

In addition I suggest taking up a regular daily practice of meditation. A regular daily meditation practice will help center your scattered energy. My book gives guidelines on this. If you want technical support in reaching the meditative state consider ordering Holosync, developed by the Centerpointe Research Institute - a series of CDs that help you reach deeper and deeper states of inner coherence. They offer to send you a demonstration CD free of charge.

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