I've spent twenty years studying spiritual enhancement but I feel we are growing apart – how can I foster my husband's growth and save our marriage?
The unfortunate side is that my husband does not choose to live the same way. I feel like I am leaving him behind and that some day my spiritual walk will lead me away from him completely. I love him and we have been through so much together, I just hope and pray that he may see how it has changed me and want the same for himself so that we may grow together and not apart. Any advice on how I may continue to be in this relationship and perhaps foster his growth as well?
I understand that you feel you have gained enormously from your spiritual studies and activities. That is your path. Your husband is following his own spiritual path whether he chooses to label it this way or not. You need to respect his own choices about his own unfolding and let him be, without placing expectations on him that he be more like yourself.
True spiritual love is when we accept another completely for what they are. Even if you are not voicing your expectations to your husband, he will be picking them up at a subconscious level and a degree of resentment will exist between you. This resentment will hold you both back in your development.
My advice to you is to allow him to be himself free of your expectations that he change and learn to appreciate and admire your husband's good qualities - when you do these qualities will grow in him and in you and your marriage will be happy and contented.
Further Help and Resources
Ayal Hurst gives valuable help along thse lines in her advice to an individual at Clearing the Way.
Vikki Williamson, January 2009:
I just found your website, very inspiring. With regards to this question...
I am in a loving relationship with my partner. I thought we were both on the same spiritual path however he is a little more "into it" than I . Maybe I am one of those you call "living the worldly life".
Money is the issue here and sometimes I feel I live in the real world while he believes all is well, but who's going to pay the bills, what if little Johnny gets sick? I cannot just sit back and think all is well and as it should be while my child suffers. I consider myself a spiritual person and am still learning, however I do believe I need insurance, I have bills to pay (there's no fairy out there) and yet he doesn't want to pay for vet bills if the dog's ill, or soil for the front yard but he will buy an Xbox "because it makes him happy". And only I can make myself happy.
When two people co-habit I believe we need to share expenses and sometimes give and take into account what the other person may want, i.e. a new lounge because the old one is falling apart, etc. I don't know if I am articulating my problem very well. I guess what I am trying to say is how can two people with different values live in the real world of day to day duties/bills etc? Please help.