Question 26 - Personal Coaching by Wallace Huey

Why am I Feeling So Emotionally Vulnerable Since I Met The Man of My Dreams?

Question

I am a 26 year old woman from Chicago. I have a small problem and don't know how to solve it. I have been dating this man, who my parents introduced me to. We plan to get married in the next three months. He is romantic and likes me a lot and I like him. Ever since we have met I have become very emotional. I cry at a drop of hat, become so sensitive, it just makes me feel silly and embarrassed all the time. I didn't cry in front of him, but I went to this job interview and during the interview, I started crying. I felt so stupid. I don't understand why this is happening?

I am not crazy about him, but I do think he is right guy and I like him a lot. I have always had a happy childhood and a happy life with no major problems. Even though I do like a lot, I don't speak very openly to him, though I do want to talk to him. He thinks I am very shy, but I am not with my friends and family. I am so content with him, but don't know how to show this to him. What do I do?

Wallace's reply

I find it encouraging that you are not crazy about this man but you like him a lot. This is a good sign. I suspect that your emotional tenderness is because this man is bringing up fears of abandonment from childhood. In your heart and soul you know you love this man but if you show this and commit to him, subconsciously you fear he may abandon you and leave you devastated. It is possible to go beyond this fear and becoming more intimate with this man is the key.

Next time you see him bring him a little gift - something personal. In your conversation share something personal about yourself. Take him into your confidence. Become a little more tactile with him, than you would with a friend.

As your intimacy grows your fear of abandonment will decrease - if you persist and become truly trusting and intimate, your fear of abandonment may even be healed through your relationship with this man.

Further Help and Resources
Take a look at Peter Shepherd's Communication and Relationships Course. It will help you become more intimate in your communications with this man and help you address and resolve the inevitable conflicts that will arise.

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