Since the beginning of this year, I have felt as if something became ignited inside of me! I feel a longing to pursue energy healing, crystals, and psychic encounters. I am a Capricorn and am an "earth" person. I really would love to get into making some money in one of these fields.
However, I feel stuck in my relationship and at times feel like I am never going to achieve my dreams! I have a controlling husband who constantly wants affection and more. I feel like I am suffocated and cannot breathe! I want to SCREAM at times and wish I could just run away from it all and be alone by myself to pursue my desires! I just feel like I need someone to help me to get out of the rut I am in and start enjoying life to the fullest!
Hoping you can help me figure this whole mess out.
I feel your life is too cloistered and you are leading too narrow a life. You want to spread your wings and fly but you are not allowing this inner urge to develop. As a result your life has become stunted and you have become frustrated.
Is it essential to school your 12 year old child from home? Most 12 year olds like to be with other children their own age - not cooped up with a frustrated and disgruntled mother. Consider having your child go to a local school. This will free you up to honor what you feel you need - time on your own and the space to pursue your interests outside the home.
If my suggestions feel right for you and your husband is unwilling to co-operate, you need to explain to him that having your needs met is vital to the welfare of the family and your relationship. If he is controlling you will need to be prepared to take a stand for what you require.
Consider ordering my book Unfold Your Wings and Watch Life Take Off. It will teach you how to value, listen to and follow your inner guidance. The book explains how you can use the power of inner guidance to be true to yourself and at the same time enhance your relationship (see pages 77-83, 'Your Calling Helps You Understand Relationships' and pages 214-220, 'Your Healing From a Broken Relationship'). Ordering my book will also give you access to my email coaching from my private website. You can use this if you feel you need further support.
You have been ignoring your inner guidance for far too long - that is why you have ended up in what you term "this mess."