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How can I really find my place in society? What's the missing piece in the jigsaw of my life?

heart to heart About the Questioner
Philosophy: I'm a very independent person looking to bring joy and purpose on earth, for me, and for others. I have been touched by grace and bliss on various occasions, and my path is one of compassion and knowledge.
Hopes and aspirations: To fully live my spirituality, that feeling of connection, everyday of my life, AND be able to fully live here on earth. I want to manage my different projects without worrying about financial considerations.
I'm a person who has travelled a lot. In my head, heart and body. And physically, I've travelled a lot. Trained as a laser engineer, I started my career as a researcher. Now for about 6 years I've been working as a coach/facilitator/specialist on personal development.

My question is: how to really find my place in society? What's the missing piece? I enjoy doing what I do, but I don't inject my power fully, I seem to just survive. For years I've been dealing with lots of my emotional/beliefs stuff. I personally use some tools on my rare clients : psych-k, eft, some nlp, etc.

As an enthusiast (enneagram type 7) I definitely know the bad aspect of dispersion. I know lots and lots of stuff... but what is blocking me? What's wrong with my approach? Do I have an approach? I've dealt with poor money beliefs I had... and I've planned. Some years ago I wanted to set up a website and funnel for different information products, and blabla, blabla. Still, any occasion is good to derail me. It seems that I can't see my gremlins any more... or maybe they are too big?

So today, right in the middle of a crisis (landlord waiting) I just fell on the Trans4mind free coaching offer. There you are. Any intuitions? Good ideas?

Reply by Coach Phil Evans Phil Evans
This is a very interesting question (situation) because I only found out recently that right across our beautiful planet, your situation is very common amongst Personal Development facilitators (regardless of what we call ourselves ... so many creative names these days!). I don't feel that too many would necessarily openly admit that - but research shows it to be true. So - a couple of questions for you:
  1. Even though you've been doing this for some time, is it really your true calling, passion, or purpose - as far as you can tell?
  2. While you are working with your clients, are you focused on helping them to heal or grow; or are you focused on how much you are earning?
Your answers don't matter to me, I just want you to connect with your innermost feelings about what you are doing. And here's another angle for you to consider: I'm going to tell you one of my principles that I teach to very large numbers of people ...

Good people do good things for themselves and others - every day; nice people do good things for everybody else - despite the cost to themselves! So, whether we are in business or in everyday relationships, if we are too 'nice' then we end up as doormats! Yes - people will use us and take advantage of our willingness to just keep giving of ourselves, despite the cost to ourselves!

And here's another important principle: it's not their fault! They are not users! We teach others how to treat us! It is our stuff to 'own' ...100% if we can. If we can own it - we can change it (another important principle!). We are allowing that behavior to continue to take place because we have taught them that it is alright to do so!

So - getting back to being Good or Nice; maybe it's time for you to shift from Nice to Good? That's just a thought for you to ponder. Shifting from Nice to Good requires a major change of basic Life Rules applying to how you teach other people about money and respect for you and your services! (Make sense?) And my extensive research into such matters has shown me that this one of the prime reasons for relationships and businesses to fail. Yes - some people are just far too nice for their own good! I do hope that this answer has rattled your cage in a positive way.

I also suggest you check out the CoachStart™ Manual,one of the best resources for those who want to become a personal life coach or work in companies. SolutionBox also provide a helpful free package of all the information you need to become a successful life coach.

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