I have played a lot of roles in my life, from business owner to business coach; from locksmith to Linux evangelist; from metaphysical, experiential minister to professional musician; from writer to mill-right. I have a wonderful wife and a couple of wonderful kittens (is 10 a couple?). I am in the middle of writing two textbooks and am teaching college courses part-time. I have made over $50K in a month and lost $70 in the next. I have had multi-million dollar contracts in my hands and watched them flow away as if they had never existed.
I have felt like I was living in the grace of the universe for the last three years. We have had tremendous reversal in our lives, but at the same time, we have supported up to 9 people in our household, when they couldn't find any other succor.
I am tired of working hard and never getting the fruits thereof, and I believe there is some blockage through which I am unable to see, that will allow through all the prosperity that I feel flowing all around. It makes me feel like Moses looking into the promised land.
Maybe all this time I have been afraid of success, and somehow am sabotaging all of my dreams. What must I be to move beyond this point? I feel that I have been successful beyond belief in all but this one area - cash flow.
You say you have been a business owner and business coach. I suggest you consider starting a business or buying an existing business. Create a business with services that are close to your heart - something you would love to do - something you feel guided to do from within. If you are unsure of your inner guidance and your calling in life I suggest reading my book Unfold Your Wings and Watch Life Take Off I have had lots of feedback from readers that my book has helped them discern their life's purpose. I suggest starting a business because in most western countries there are significant tax advantages that are available to business owners.
Once you have an income stream coming from your business then you need to invest it in assets. Assets are things that you own that deliver a passive (unearned) income into your bank account. Assets can be the business you own, property that earns you rent, or paper assets like shares in companies with dividends. The key thing is that you forgo expenditure on items of dubious merit (most luxuries) and instead add to the range and volume of your asset portfolio. Then in time, as the passive income builds up, and cash is flowing steadily into your bank account, you will have more flexibility around how you spend your time.
Perhaps you will then choose to spend some of your new found time in public service activities, like charity work, to help those in real need. A good aim is to spend half your working time making money and the other half engaged in public service. This balance will bring you tremendous peace of mind and a feeling of great creative power.
If you want more help in understanding investing and assets I recommend you visit Rich Dad where you will find a wealth of support and educational tools for finding financial freedom, with particular reference to real estate investment. In particular I recommend you order the beginners book "Rich Dad Poor Dad" which will help you understand the principles of improving your cash flow. If you want to know about investing in paper assets then take a look at The Investment Club Network - an Irish company with worldwide reach that trains and supports people in investing on the stock market and then, when sufficiently wealthy, to offer themselves in public service activities that help people in need.