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Help Me to Recover From a Life That Has "Crashed and Burned"


heart to heart
Question
Almost 2 years ago, I had a great deal of misfortune - my entire life "crashed & burned". My father -and best friend- passed away after a lengthy battle with cancer, I suddenly and unexpectedly became a single mother, leading to the loss of my business, dream home, retirement funds, and my credit has been destroyed -- along with a huge chunk of my Spirit. And that's only a small part of the whole story. I've now wasted nearly a YEAR in a sort of 'emotional coma' (withdrawn from everything and everybody) and have basically created a complete disaster in all areas of my life. I am lost. And I am shocked and so very angry at myself for allowing it to happen.

Once upon a time, not so long ago, I was so 'together' (great career; financially stable; independent & strong; had great friends & numerous acquaintances; I was bubbly and joyful...). Where is that person? I'm trying so very hard to find her... and to learn the lessons in all of this. And although I am feeling a bit better and am beginning to emerge from the 'fog'... and despite the 'calling' and 'reaching out' from the Universe / "Great Spirit" (I acknowledge the numerous messages)... I find myself unable (out of fear?) to take any real action.

Oftentimes, I've felt that I should seek help in getting out of my "fog" and I was told that it is impossible for one to analyze oneself in order to work through a situation (of "stuck-ness") like mine. Yet for me, traditional therapy completely misses the boat. And I do feel capable (& stable enough) to work through this on my own if I had the right tools. I truly feel that I am finally on the verge of a major "break-through" and any advice you can provide will certainly be very much appreciated.

Wallace's reply
Wallace
Your life may have "crashed and burned" but that is not what has caused your difficulty. Your emotional coma - caused by shock - is due to identification with and attachment to things and people external to your Self and your reliance on these for your sense of Self.

You falsely assumed that by having these external elements to your life in good order you were "strong and independent". A person who is truly strong and independent is like this no matter what happens to the externals of her life, because her strength and independence comes from her identification with, and attachment to, God Within. The external circumstances of such a person's life can change - even dramatically - and they will by unaffected psychologically.

The truth is that you were never strong and independent in the true sense. However the good news is that you are in an ideal position to develop this inner power. If you give yourself time to grieve and let go of all these external identifications and attachments your personal power will increase, gradually at first, because your grief and sadness will burn those external attachments that were your weakness, and you will find a new relationship with the inner God.

If you want help with this I strongly recommend my book Unfold Your Wings and Watch Life Take Off. I wrote it some years after emerging from an emotional coma similar to the one you describe. It has within its pages many of the tools you seek. Read more questions on this topic

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