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Trans4mind Training is our series of online, interactive video workshops, based on the life challenge questions we received over several years of Heart to Heart Coaching, like the one on this page.
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The human heart made visible.
Am I right to sit by the phone wishing my ex-boyfriend will ring?
The questioner's philosophy
I'm slowly accepting God, even though it becomes harder everyday too. I believe in reincarnation though and karma, and much more into a Buddhist way of thinking.
The questioner's hopes and aspirations
I want to be a mother and a wife. Not only that, I want to write novels that send out a life lesson and heal the soul.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost a year, because he wasn't paying attention to me. He just wanted to hang out with his friend, Joey, who has just become single and is hanging out with girls. My boyfriend loves to follow him around and looks up at him like he's his master. It's silly, really.
After we broke up, it bothered me a little and I called him back, he said he wanted his freedom and has been talking to his ex-girlfriend and some other girls. In the meantime I'm sitting at home waiting for him to call me. I haven't been able to sleep well and I haven't eaten in a while either.
My mom is a real support, but I'm just not taking any chances of giving up on him.
Is this a ridiculous thing to do? To stay with him, even though he doesn't want to continue?
Are you listening to what your boyfriend is saying? He says he wants his freedom. You need to accept that. When he takes his freedom it gives you your freedom as well. Why not enjoy this freedom. Go out with the girls. Have some fun. You feel that your boyfriend is silly by following his friend around and looking up to him. But what are you doing? Sitting on the end of a phone and pining after a man!
I suggest you get your confidence back by putting on your make up, dressing up and going out with the girls. This will help you to feel powerful once more as an independent woman. Also take up some new interests and hobbies to fill the time you would have spent with your boyfriend.
Never let wishing, wondering and longing for a man, diminish your power as an independent woman. The world is full of great men and you are well able to attract a man who will admire you for who you are. You are learning that people in general and men in particular are free agents and at times they will do things that frustrate and surprise you and you have to accept this. You cannot control people in personal relationships. You have to love them as they are and, if necessary, love them and let them go!
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