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Can you advise me on going beyond my bulimia?


heart to heart The questioner's philosophy
Life is like a river, being with the flow is the joy of life; New Age.
The questioner's hopes and aspirations
To become more enlightened; to experience true and deeper love.
Question
Hi, I am 26 years old and I started using drugs at 13. At 23 I decided to break that habit and, with the help of hospitals and secluded communes, I succeeded. But now I find myself in the clutch of another vicious cycle - Bulimia. It has become a habitual action to strive for food whenever I can. It is a means for sensual experience. When I try to resist the urge to look for food I become nervous and feel like I am losing or missing something from life. Could you give me advice?
Wallace's reply
Wallace
In life we all have the urge to be and express our true, authentic, magnificent Self. This Self is spiritual, because its expression is the realization of inner divinity. Running counter to that perfect expression is our ego or lower self, which as well as being our personality or face to the world, may also manifest as weak points or vulnerabilities in our character. I have my vulnerabilities and you have your vulnerability - a tendency to addictive behavior.

The secret of personal development is to see these vulnerable points, these weaknesses, as the key that can open the door to personal growth. It is these very weaknesses that provide the motive power for our ascent into Spirit, so that we may become enlightened and experience true and deeper love.

So I invite you to learn to "work with" your Bulimia, to learn from it and through that learning to mature your ego - to ascend beyond your personality (and its very human traits) toward the greater consciousness of the Higher Self.

To learn from your Bulimia, you need to have a relationship with it, in much the same way you would have a relationship with an unruly or irresponsible child. See the Bulimia as something apart from your Self but to which you are related - see it as your unruly child and you as its adoring parent. The wise parent does not hate the unruly child, but rather seeks to send it love and to understand its ways. The wise parent is infinitely patient with the unruly child, always ready to comfort this child, to bring it back to the right path and to teach it to express itself in more constructive and creative ways. The wise parent knows that he may have to care for the unruly child for years, but he does so diligently, always with faith that this child will grow into a powerful, responsible adult.

To assist that process the wise parent increasingly channels the unruly child's chaotic energy into constructive and creative pursuits that are in line with the child's heart, and gradually, by empowering the unruly child to express itself in these constructive and creative ways, to connect the child with its own heart energy of love, compassion and forgiveness. The wise parent knows that by opening the unruly child up to its creative power, it will merge in its Spiritual or Higher Self and that, as the child grows, the unruly behavior will eventually wither away.

The example of the unruly child has parallels with Bulimia. What you seek through the sensory experiences engendered by the Bulimia, you already possess in abundance within your own heart. What you need to do is strengthen your connection to your heart by finding ways of serving others.

Ask yourself, what presses my buttons? What irks me? These are keys as to where you can make a contribution. Do not be concerned that this is none of your business - it may become your business very soon! As you find and develop your calling in life and express it creatively, constantly ask yourself: how can I give more, how can I put more creative energy into this task, how can I increase my level and power of expression? Then allow yourself to expand into the opening these questions create.

As you expand into powerfully serving others, your heart connection will grow stronger. Your vulnerability with Bulimia will remain but as your heart opens and your creative expression explodes, you will crowd out any tendency toward bulimic behavior, because the fulfillment in your own heart will have replaced your need for sensory experiences with food. You will have used your greatest weakness to discover your greatest strength. You will be in the flow and feel the joy of life singing in your heart and in the hearts of those around you.

Then your "unruly child" will have grown into your true, authentic, magnificent Self!

Further Help and Resources
There are a number of helpful articles in our Quick Coach library about Going beyond addictive behavior. Check them out.

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