I have great hopes and anticipation but it only ends in frustration - is it better to be in the now?
The questioner's philosophy
I am talking about my personal life with regards to relationships and with regard to my working life. I am looking for a spark as well! I meet so many men - there is never a shortage - but unfortunately, no sparks. I would love to rekindle a very brief relationship I recently encountered, but my pride and fear of rejection stops me from doing this.
So with this in mind, I feel there is lack of direction. Am I searching for something that doesn't exist instead of focusing and making the very best of now?
Life is like a bicycle wheel with God in the centre and the world on the circumference. When the mind travels outward along the spokes of the wheel it gets buffeted by all the rocks and ruts in the road it is travelling. But when the mind withdraws to the hub at the centre, there is no movement or disturbance. This hob is God!
So learn to accept your self and your life as it is without wishing it to be different. Withdraw to the center - to the hub - by letting go of these desires to have boyfriends and your need to be the best you can be. Instead be your Self - the Higher Self that is found at the hub of the wheel at one with God - the Self that is free of all desire, striving and the wishing for things to be different from what they are. This is true freedom - a life that is free of longing and searching for the things of the world. Desire only God! Eventually even that desire will pass and you will find yourself in the place of choiceless awareness - it is then that you will live permanently in the Now.
To attain this state, learn to be a witness of your mind and watch how it forms desires and wishes and observe then how anticipation flows from this activity of the mind. Watch as hopes form and then are dashed, followed by disappointment and frustration and your new desire to have a coach or counselor to help you sort it all out! Watch all of this and see it at work.
In the constant watching of it is your release and your victory. Then as you draw closer and closer to the hub in the wheel, through this self witnessing, all your needs will be supplied. Fear and resistance turn to acceptance and love; and with a sense of non-attachment you can then effortlessly create the reality you desire. The wise woman is completely still (within) and, from this place of inner stillness, watches as the world is drawn to her for its fulfillment.
Further Help and Resources
I suggest you read and absorb Chapter 1 of Tim Ong's book From Fear to Love called A Spiritual Adventure which you can read on Trans4mind. In it, Tim gives an introduction to the art of mindfulness, which I think you will find most helpful.
The following article by Karla Brandau is very relevant, as frustration is one of the main components of stress: Sure-Fire Mental Strategies to Fight Stress. In addition, there is a Quick Coach selection of articles from the Counterpoint library for this topic, Overcoming anger and frustration, that you will find helpful.