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Do I stay in my dull relationship and trust to finding happiness within, or do I act bravely and look for love elsewhere?


heart to heart The questioner's philosophy
Spiritual and questing ex-patriot of dysfunctional relating... reaching higher.
The questioner's hopes and aspirations
Surrounding myself with expansive, supportive friends, beautiful surroundings, freedom of choice and knowing my own mind and heart.
Question
I simply want to know if all happiness comes from the inside and emanates out. I feel I am poorly matched with my life partner of nine years, and it is not easy for me to envision a happy future with him. We share few passions and the part of life I share with him is dull and un-invigorating. He feels my happiness is my own responsibility, to be achieved by me alone. This has held me still. My higher guidance says "there is more for you, if you are brave enough to go find it." His thought is that more must come from inside me, and I shouldn't be looking for a "package" of traits and qualities in another to increase my happiness. Very unsure, and in need of guidance.
Wallace's reply
Wallace
While it is true that our happiness is our own responsibility, the people who are in our life, especially those closest to our heart, can either help us to evolve and find happiness within, or take us away from that experience. Sometimes difficult and testing relationships are the very ones that can help us the most in our quest for inner happiness and sometimes they fail to add meaning to our lives. The same can be true of dull relationships and harmonious relationships.

Some people we need to keep close to our heart because it is our duty to do so, like our relationships with our children and our parents. With marriage partners we have made a solemn promise to create a life long relationship, so to dissolve our marriage, although possible, should always be a last resort, and only executed after we have tried every means of keeping the vows we made to one another. (You have registered yourself as single but in your question describe yourself as having a life partner so I am confused about the status of your relationship and any promises you may have made to one another.) With other people we have more room and space to make choices.

There is really no way of analyzing with our mind what is the best course of action in these cases, we need to depend on inner guidance for decisions of who to have and not to have as close companions.

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