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How can I let people come to me rather than me always going to them?

heart to heart The questioner's philosophy
Everything is part of life.
The questioner's hopes and aspirations
To be the star attraction of a party or a get together or gathering.
My major problem is not having friends - not having good relations with anybody - always having to stay alone - unable to create an impression on others - poor social life - poor social relations and struggling for everything because of poor relations. I have to go to everybody, nobody comes to me. I want a good social life, want to develop good social skills, want to develop good communication skills and maintain relationships as long as possible so that I can create a place in others hearts. Let people come to me rather than me always going to them.
Wallace's reply
Wallace You say your philosophy is that everything is part of life - I want to give you a part of life which you can observe, study, reflect and meditate. This is the flower. Why have I chosen the flower for you - because the flower is one of the most attractive of God's creations.

How are flowers so attractive? Why are flowers so attractive? I want you to ask yourself these two questions every day. I want you to study flowers - look them up on the internet and look at flowers growing where you live. Find out what botanists have written about how and why flowers are so attractive. What is their role in nature? What part do they play? How do they link in with the web of life?

Sit in a garden locally and experience the attractiveness of flowers. Watch bees visit the flowers. Watch people as they stop to look at the flowers. Ask people why they have placed flowers in their garden and in their home. Ask them why they are given as gifts and in your own culture, why a garland of flowers is offered as a mark of respect.

Why is this? What is it about flowers that prompt such attractiveness?

As you reflect on different kinds of flowers ask yourself these questions.

  • Do flowers make a loud noise?
  • Do they think about themselves all day long?
  • Are they boastful?
  • Do they shrink from life?
  • Are they colorful?
  • Are they beautiful?
  • Do they serve the needs of others? - How? - Really look into this.
  • Do they grow where they are planted?
  • Are they sexual? - How?
  • Do they smell attractive?
  • Are they defensive?
  • Are they vulnerable?
  • Are they open?
  • Do they invite others in?
  • What do they offer the world?

Keep a notebook with these questions in it and whenever you receive answers to these questions write them down. Go into each question deeply and meditate on it. Translate any insights you have into how you can change so that you are more like the flower.

Did you know that there is something that is potentially even more attractive than the flower? This something is the Human Being. You are also God's creation - I want you to consciously practice being like a flower. I want you to take what you have learned from your observations, studies, reflections and meditations on flowers and apply this to your own life - you will never be left alone again.

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