Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Self-esteem

Jump to the following topics:

  1. What is self-esteem?
  2. What are the benefits of self-esteem?
  3. Self-esteem is not wholly self-generated and unconditional. 
  4. The techniques for creating self-esteem.


What is self-esteem? It is our belief that we have innate value and potential.  

  1. Innate value. We know that we are important simply for being a part of life. We believe we have an "inalienable right" to be here, to express ourselves, and to be happy. We believe that we are good. We are certain that we have a purpose for living (although perhaps we have not yet discovered that purpose). We have dignity and poise, regardless of our physical appearance, financial status, possessions, occupation, and accomplishments -- and things which we cannot control, such as other people's judgments of us. Self-esteem exists within a part of us that is so deep and fundamental that it can't be touched by outside events, and it does not need to be subjected to any standard or rational explanation. We value all aspects of our life:
    • Our inner life: our thoughts, our emotions, our physical body, etc.
    • Our outer life: our activities, our possessions, our friends, our community, etc.
  2. Innate potential. We know that we possess unique talents and perspectives which make an important contribution to society (even if the contribution is on a relatively small scale). We have the right to develop that potential to the fullest possible extent.
  3. It is a sub-constellation within the ego's constellation. The constellation of self-esteem is the collection of thoughts, images, energy tones, and physical habits which correspond to our evaluation and opinion of ourselves.


What are the benefits of self-esteem?  

  1. Because self-esteem is a characteristic of the ego, we gain the benefits which are derived from a healthy ego (as explained in the chapter regarding the ego). For example (as explained in that chapter): we can approach people from a position of strength and abundance and vigor, rather than from neediness and emptiness; we can be unpretentious; we can endure input from the other parts of the psyche, and from other people.


Self-esteem is not wholly self-generated and unconditional. We might believe that we have inherent value regardless of anything that we become or do, but this self-esteem is difficult to maintain if we contradict other factors in our life:

  1. Invalidation from other people. In childhood, our family and acquaintances responded to us in ways which indicated whether we were "all right." We established self-esteem if they accepted us as a real person whose thoughts and feelings were valid, and if they respected our unique individuality. (Paradoxically, we developed self-esteem if our "individuality" was somewhat restricted by parental limits and discipline -- because those things indicated that our parents "took us seriously.") While we created our ideas about ourselves, we were particularly vulnerable to other people's teasing, insults, rejections, and shaming. As adults, we are less vulnerable to the same assaults; ideally, we have learned that we are responsible for our own self-esteem. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." And yet, because we are social creatures, it is difficult (if not impossible) to have self-esteem without support from people -- at least from the people whom we respect.
  2. Invalidation from our system of values. For example, if we value honesty, and we violate that value, we might be damaging our self-esteem, if we respond with shame instead of guilt. Guilt is merely an impersonal "alarm mechanism" which informs us that we have violated our values; it does not condemn us nor does it tell us to hate ourselves. When guilt is triggered, we can consider various options:
    • We can try to correct the action. For example, we return the money which we stole. If we correct the faulty action, our self-esteem is restored and even enhanced because we have indicated to ourselves that we are competent in living life fairly and directly.
    • We can question the values which were violated. We might realize that our values are ineffective for the purpose of enhancing our life; if so, we can change them.
    • We can shame ourselves. Shaming is a harmful act in which we proclaim that we are innately flawed and incapable. In one sense, shame is the opposite of self-esteem; it damages self-esteem.


The techniques for creating self-esteem.  

  1. We can do archetypal field-work:  
    • Self-talk. We can use the ideas in the first paragraph of this chapter, to develop affirmations regarding our innate value and our innate potential.
    • Directed imagination.. We visualize ourselves in situations where we have poise, self-confidence, self-love -- and an ability to interact effectively from a base of soulful power.
    • Energy toning. We develop the energy tones of poise, self-confidence, self-love, self-appreciation, joy, etc.
    • The as-if principle. We act as if we have self-esteem.
  2. We create a healthy ego. As we develop the ego, we develop self-esteem; as stated previously, self-esteem is a sub-constellation of elements within the ego's constellation of elements. Self-esteem gives permission to the ego to grow as an effective interface with the human world.
  3. We examine our values. Because we can have full self-esteem only if we are complying with our values, we need to have the particular values which provide valid feedback on our actions, such that they trigger guilt when we commit an act which is truly destructive or self-destructive. If we value life, we value this "alarm mechanism" which tells us that our current actions are diminishing our life.

Contents

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...
 

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Hypnosis is the key to unlocking your creativity, focusing your energy and understanding yourself

Hypnosis has a long history of helping human beings be the very best they can be. It can be used to control anything controlled by the unconscious mind - pain, blood pressure, fear, confidence levels, mood, sex drive... the list goes on:

  1. You'll become highly productive without getting stressed
  2. Tap into your creative energies instantly
  3. Really understand yourself and others
  4. You'll learn how to stay calm in high pressure or uncomfortable situations
  5. Develop laser-like levels of focus and concentration

Lean more... Uncommon Hypnosis Course

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd