Life is always changing, growing and evolving. This means everyone experiences transitions in their life. And in modern life, change and growth are happening more quickly, and are often forced upon us, so that each of us will face many transitions in the course of a lifetime.
Change is the fundamental nature of Life. If you don’t adapt to change, or if you don't instigate necessary or desired change, you may be left in a confused and unfulfilled state. Then there is a danger that you will become a person who is fearful, cynical and resigned to things as they are.
Is this something that you really want? If it this happened could you live with yourself? Permanently?
It's far better to take the initiative, to become master of the transitions in your life.
“Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”~ John Maxwell
What it feels like to experience a life transition
The way you are experiencing your own particular transition will, to some extent, depend on whether it has been forced on you (for example by a sudden medical emergency) or whether it is a transition you have chosen (for example giving birth to your first child). Either way, you will feel different - new thoughts, worries, emotions, hopes and fears.
Plus there's another kind of transition: one that you're not experiencing yet because it's being suppressed, neglected or put on hold. It's a change in your life that you would like or that's necessary - perhaps a new job or living in a different location - but you resist because you feel unclear how to go about it, or perhaps you feel you lack needed skills, experience or courage to go ahead. Or perhaps the transition reminds you of bad experiences in the past you don't want to repeat.
It's usually easier to deal with transitions you have chosen because you feel more in control, like the birth of a longed for baby. For example, the birth of a first child into a loving marriage will undoubtedly create strains on the parents' relationship and for a period they may feel overwhelmed, unconfident and fearful in ways that are new to them. The parents may experience exhaustion, difficulty coping, insecure, under the weight of other people's expectations, alone, unprepared. The change in routine may have an impact on friendships and family relationships. Fortunately these stresses and strains are tempered by the joy the couple experience in their shared new adventure of parenthood and in the powerful love they experience as they bond with their own child for the first time.
Whereas transitions that have been forced upon you, especially suddenly and unexpectedly - for example an unexpected heart attack - are usually much more challenging to accept into your life. The shock may provoke feelings of fear, helplessness, resentment about loss of your life plans, and other challenging emotions that arrive unexpectedly. You may feel scared, hopeless, angry, overwhelmed, violated, alone. Or if you became in debt, you may feel like you're drowning, stuck, or helpless. You may feel unprepared to deal with what you are being forced to experience.
These are all completely natural and common reactions. And there are many different kinds of life transition that can provoke these and other strong emotional responses, as the challenges of life get triggered. Transitions are at the center of human experience - but their significance is rarely understood.
Transitions give rise to life challenges
As you are faced with a transition, like getting engaged or being made redundant, this activates life challenges. This is a natural process and not to be feared or resisted. The art of living is to face up to each transition, acquire the necessary insights and skills, and move through the transition with ease.
Here are some common transitions that you are likely to experience in your journey through life... Which ones apply to you today?
Whether learning an instrument, singing, arts and crafts, DIY, professional skills... these can be life-changing and fulfilling. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety and overcoming bad habits. "The more you struggle and even fail, while you're trying to master new information, the better you're likely to recall and apply that information later." ~ Manu Kapur
Getting free of a habit or addiction that is harming you is clearly a big step forward. These life challenges typically arise: frustration, lack of confidence, anxiety and
overcoming bad habits. "The secret to breaking any bad habit is to love something greater than the habit." ~ Bryant McGill
We all lose loved ones at least several times in our lives, and we inevitably suffer losses in career and relationships. Fortunately there are ways to make this kind of transition easier on ourselves. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path, forgiveness, guilt and coping with loss. Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday.
From diagnosis to illness and returning back to health can happen to all of us, and also to our child, parent or spouse. And it may be a life-changing chronic illness or even a terminal illness. And we all face death eventually. But approached the right way, each can become a transformative part of your life. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path, lack of confidence, fear and anxiety. Recovery is the way forward to start living your life again and to be the person you are called to be.
Guilt can fester for years or we can pass through and learn from the experience. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path, hard to forgive, lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety and guilt itself. “Mistakes are part of life, everyone makes them, everyone regrets them. But, some learn from them and some end up making them again. It's up to you to decide if you'll use your mistakes to your advantage.” ~ Meredith Sapp
We can act to develop our self, to learn and practice new and more constructive ways of being. These life challenges typically arise: guilt, jealousy and lack of confidence. Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.
It's one thing to have an insight, a new understanding - it's quite another to learn to apply it continuously in your life, a new positive habit. That takes motivation and persistence. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path, lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety and overcoming bad habits. Making a big life change is pretty scary. But know what's even scarier? Regret.
This can be a journey in itself, that may require time to develop understanding, empathy and compassion - to find oneself, in other words. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path, hard to forgive, guilt, jealousy and anger and frustration. “Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” ~ Paul Boese
Anger and its accompanying frustration only serve to harm ourselves. Realizing this, though, is a process. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path, hard to forgive, guilt, jealousy, anger and frustration and fear and anxiety. “Anger is never without a reason, but seldom a good one.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
Fears need to be faced and accepted, not suppressed, then we can decide if it makes more sense to let them go. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path, lack of confidence, fear and anxiety. “To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” ~ Joseph Chilton Pearce
Our spiritual path is our life, really, in which we can gradually get to know ourselves better, to be more aware of how we react, to access our inner knowing more and more. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path and going on to find our own answers to the big questions of life). "Be transformed from the inside out by the renewal of your mind." ~ Apostle Paul
Education need not stop when we leave school; indeed, we do best to retain an open mind and learn throughout our lives, to take responsibility and self-direct this process. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path, overcoming bad habits, having integrity and finding life purpose. Individuals can take the initiative, with or without the assistance of others, in diagnosing their learning needs, formulating learning goals, and identifying human and material resources for learning.
Accidents happen, c'est la vie, and the recovery process can be life-transforming. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path, hard to forgive, guilt, anger and frustration, lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety and coping with loss. Also reaching a goal and finding life purpose. "The only lasting trauma is the one we suffer without positive change." ~ Leo Buscaglia
One of those days always to remember, to bring a new person into the world or to take responsibility for a person, it's nevertheless not an overnight transition. There's much to learn. Brings up all the relationship challenges: finding meaningful relationships, social skills, healthy boundaries, expressing yourself, ask the right questions, listening well, being non-judgmental, resolving conflict, having intimacy plus lack of confidence and fear and anxiety>. “The heart is to the body as the family is to the soul.” ~ Rick Beneteau
This might include being bullied,
being falsely accused, being discriminated against, being constantly criticised (at home, work or school, or media). Whichever way, a path forward needs to be found. This situation and its resolution brings up challenges such as: lack of confidence, fear and anxiety, social skills, healthy boundaries, expressing yourself, being non-judgmental and resolving conflict. “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of yourself. Define yourself.” ~ Robert Frost
Another big transition, to adapt to a much loved family member no longer being there. These life challenges typically arise: coping with loss and fear and anxiety. We never really leave home, we carry it with us on every road and on every journey we take.
There are many social skills that make a huge difference to the quality of our relationships, how we get on and how happy we are in our lives. Again, this is ongoing, if we make the effort. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, and all the social challenges: meaningful relationships, social skills, healthy boundaries, expressing yourself, ask the right questions, listening well, being non-judgmental, resolving conflict, having intimacy plus working in a team. “When we focus on others, our world expands.” ~ Daniel Goleman
We set boundaries in a relationship: what is our responsibility and what is acceptable to us, and those we live and work with do likewise. These boundaries need to be clear, mutually beneficial and respected. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, having integrity, and the social challenges: meaningful relationships, social skills, healthy boundaries, expressing yourself, ask the right questions, listening well, being non-judgmental, resolving conflict. “I allow myself to set healthy boundaries. To say no to what does not align with my values, to say yes to what does. Boundaries assist me to remain healthy, honest and live a life that is true to me.” ~ Lee Horbachewski
The transition from being single to a new way of life revolving around one partner, takes some getting used to. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, jealousy, healthy boundaries, expressing yourself, ask the right questions, listening well, being non-judgmental, resolving conflict, having intimacy. Engagement marks the end of a whirlwind romance and the beginning of an eternal love story...
Being devotedly looked after to now looking after yourself - what a transition to adapt to! These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, coping with loss and acquiring social skills. "Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back, and reasons to stay." ~ Dalai Lama
This if course is a big transformation of both your own and your partner's life, one that when it succeeds will make you more than twice the person. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, jealousy, overcoming bad habits, working in a team, and all the social challenges: meaningful relationships, social skills, healthy boundaries, expressing yourself, ask the right questions, listening well, being non-judgmental, resolving conflict, having intimacy. "A happy marriage is three things: memories of togetherness, forgiveness of mistakes, and a promise to never give up on each other." ~ Surabhi Surendra
A new life in your own body - what an amazing thing and what a transition! These life challenges typically arise: fear and anxiety and having intimacy. Not every day of pregnancy is easy, but every day brings me closer to you, little one.
Seems straightforward enough and exciting but many things can go wrong and lots to adjust to at the new location. These life challenges typically arise: coping with loss, lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, working in a team, social skills, healthy boundaries, resolving conflict. Feeling sad to leave doesn't mean you shouldn't go.
It can take time to move a relationship from blunt disagreement or even hatred, to some helpful understanding and getting along. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, anger and frustration, having integrity, creativity, helping others, expressing yourself, ask the right questions, listening well, being non-judgmental and resolving conflict itself. "Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding." ~ Einstein
It may be necessary but it's a big change in your life, to get used to live on your own again. These life challenges typically arise: coping with loss, hard to forgive, guilt, jealousy, anger and frustration, lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, healthy boundaries and resolving conflict. A tragedy is not divorce, it's staying in an unhappy marriage, teaching your children the wrong things about love.
Falling in love is magic, but it isn't usually an instant process, there are stages of getting closer and closer in understanding and empathy, lessons to learn about each other, ups and downs. But hopefully to arrive. These life challenges typically arise: coping with loss, lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, jealousy, and all the relationship challenges: meaningful relationships, social skills, healthy boundaries, expressing yourself, ask the right questions, listening well, being non-judgmental, resolving conflict, having intimacy. An authentic person ends a relationship before starting or searching for another one.
Having a target to reach motivates us to action, and an inspiring goal even more, but there are usually many steps along the way. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, and success issues such as achieving success, having integrity, reaching a goal, creativity, finding life purpose, being a leader and money problems. A crystal clear vision inspires and energizes the path of least resistance to your goal.
A necessary step forward that usually contains a chain of events and many changes to adapt to. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, finding fulfillment at work and working in a team. "Change can be scary, but you know what's scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving and progressing." ~ Mandy Hale
Again, a complete change of lifestyle with many new people to meet and work with. Life challenges that typically arise include: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, meaningful relationships, social skills, achieving success and having integrity. "All dreams can come true - if we have the courage to pursue them." ~ Walt Disney
Many times - even usually - a person lives their life without a clear purpose to their existence. So it's much better if you really know who you are in your heart, and what you want to achieve, and this opens the door to true fulfillment. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, finding life purpose, finding fulfillment at work, working in a team, being a leader and helping others. "If you can't figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose.” ~ Bishop T. D. Jakes
May be gaining or losing income: either way a new strategy going forward is required. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, money problems, meaningful relationships, social skills, healthy boundaries, ask the right questions and resolving conflict. "We cannot solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." ~ Einstein
Effective leadership demands a wide range of skills, maturity, and achievement already demonstrated to acquire respect from the people being led. Becoming a leader is potentially a huge transition in which your potential can be fully realized. Many challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, meaningful relationships, social skills, healthy boundaries, expressing yourself, ask the right questions, listening well, being non-judgmental, resolving conflict, having integrity, reaching a goal, creativity, finding life purpose, presenting well, working in a team and being a leader. “If your actions inspire others to do more, to learn more, to dream more or to become more, you are a leader.” ~ John Quincy Adams
New skills and accompanying know-how make promotion possible, or a whole new area of responsibility, and therefore a new lease of life. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, finding fulfillment at work and working in a team. The expert in anything was once a beginner.
It may or may not be your fault but big changes follow. Nevertheless, it presents the opportunity for a new beginning. These life challenges typically arise: finding your healing path, hard to forgive, guilt and anger and frustration, along with the usual lack of confidence and self-esteem plus fear and anxiety. There will be many chapters in your life. Don't get lost in the one you are in now.
The boss may be great - or a pain - but still you'll need to get on with them. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, meaningful relationships, social skills, healthy boundaries, expressing yourself, ask the right questions, listening well, being non-judgmental, resolving conflict, working in a team. "Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success." ~ Henry Ford
This could be at work or home, but it's a new adventure, requiring learning of new skills and free expression of your imagination, to unearth your unique insights and vision. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, creativity and possibly being a leader. When you remember similarities, notice relationships, imagine possibilities and are willing to experiment - then one thing leads to another.
Well, it's what you worked for, but now new responsibilities are on your plate, new things to learn, new chances to express yourself, to contribute. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, social skills, presenting well, working in a team, helping others and being a leader. "You were hired because you met expectations. You will be promoted if you exceed them." ~ Saji Ijiyemi
This is of course a whole new phase of your life. It can mean you finally have the chance to do things that you always wanted, especially if you've been working for years at a job far removed from your true talents and life purpose. These life challenges typically arise: coping with loss, lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, finding life purpose, money problems and expressing yourself. "You are never too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream." ~ C.S.Lewis
The opportunity to really be creative and make your mark on the world, as well as to express your full potential. These life challenges typically arise: lack of confidence and self-esteem, fear and anxiety, finding life purpose, creativity, money problems, social skills and expressing yourself. "Never start a business to make money. Start a business to make a difference." ~ Marie Forleo
The business to customer relationship changes as new technologies arise or new social habits form. A business has to recognize these changes and adapt - or get left behind. This may affect your business or your situation as a customer. These life challenges typically arise: anger and frustration, lack of confidence and self-esteem, achieving success, having integrity, resolving conflict, social skills and healthy boundaries. "The purpose of a business is to create a customer who creates customers." ~ Shiv Singh
Your work may become no longer viable; your plans may become financially impossible; you may have to endure hardship - or on the contrary, unexpected opportunities and prosperity may become available. These life challenges typically arise: >anger and frustration, lack of confidence and self-esteem, achieving success, having integrity, resolving conflict, social skills and healthy boundaries>. People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.
If you care about fashion, a whole new wardrobe may be in order. Your eyes may be opened to new music, new holiday locations, new film directors, new anything that suddenly becomes publicized. These life challenges typically arise: anger and frustration, lack of confidence and self-esteem, having integrity, social skills and healthy boundaries. "Fashion changes, style endures." ~ Coco Chanel
People die to preserve the freedom and rights of their fellows. In a way, nothing is more important than our essential freedom and human rights. To preserve our freedoms make take considerable time and effort but it will be worthwhile. These life challenges typically arise: anger and frustration, lack of confidence and self-esteem, having integrity, resolving conflict, social skills and healthy boundaries. Privacy is the foundation of all other rights. Arguing that you don't care about privacy because you have nothing to hide is like arguing that you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say.
Left, right or center - whatever our own views, a new political scenario can arrive at any time and we have to adapt and live with it, albeit making our views to the contrary heard if necessary, and working with others toward a better outcome. These life challenges typically arise: anger and frustration, lack of confidence and self-esteem, having integrity, resolving conflict, social skills and healthy boundaries. "I'm no longer accepting the things I cannot change... I'm changing the things I cannot accept." ~ Angela Davis
How people treat others, the values they live by, the levels of happiness, caring, kindness that are demonstrated - these and many other factors determine whether our world is one we want to live in. To make a better world we each have to influence our immediate environment for the better, and that starts within each of us... a change of consciousness from the inside-out. These life challenges typically arise: anger and frustration, lack of confidence and self-esteem, having integrity, resolving conflict, social skills and healthy boundaries. "Change begins with you... If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take. And so the world around you will change!" ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Click on underlined transitions for a brief description, including typical life challenges that facing this transition tends to activate.
Transition is moving from your current situation to the new situation
Challenges (stress/difficulty) are experienced as you attempt the change
Personal development insights and skills provide the solution you need.
Instead of a traumatic experience, the transition can become the vehicle for a positive and transformative experience, with the help of personal development training and coaching. Personal development empowers you to make successful transitions in your life.
We need to start by focusing on the specific life challenges that are preventing necessary or desired life transitions. All the personal development resources on this website will help you.
Peter Shepherd
Peter Shepherd is the founder and producer of this website. A transformational psychologist by background, he is author of ‘Transforming the Mind.’ Learn more about Peter's life experience and his views on many subjects at his Biography Page. Read More Articles by Peter Shepherd.
This is something Peter put together that is close to his heart. It's a free daily meditation program to help you make the state of unconditional love an integrated part of your life, which is key to lasting joy and fulfillment.
Plus check out Your Inner Truth, a phenomenal range of journaling tools to help you find the truth of your situation. You may feel stressed, or confused, there may be a lot going on and choices to make that seem a bit overwhelming. Or you may simply need time with yourself, to decide what is it you really want... and just who are you, really?
