"How do I deal with issues I don't know how to deal with?"
I've tried church, I've tried higher awareness and personal quotes and nothing has helped me overcome my fears. I'm trying to find a solution to my perplexed life. I'm only twenty years old and I don't quite understand why I'm already carrying a lot of baggage. So my question is: How do I get a grip on my life? and, How do I deal with issues I don't know how to deal with?
Ok. Let's see what shows up. First of all, let me say that there's no age limit for having to deal with issues or baggage. Often, we come in already with stuff from other lives, and these issues can be with us from the moment we are born, (issues we are still dealing with that didn't get finished or understood from another life experience), and often, too, we carry ancestral baggage - stuff that is in our DNA from our family lineage that has been present for generations and that needs to get worked out. Stuff can even start in the womb. It's been perceived that when a soul is in the womb, if the mother, for instance, shares with the father that she is pregnant, and his response is along the lines of "OH NO!", the soul will feel that and have an issue of rejection and not being wanted or loved, right then and there. Just from feeling that response. So, the fact that you're just 20 and have baggage and feel perplexed with it, is not at all anything unusual, if you're thinking that maybe you are in a different condition than anyone else. You just may be more aware of it earlier than some, which is actually a good thing.
So, what are the fears about? Well, it IS showing up as body genetics - in the DNA. The info I'm getting says that these perplexing fears go back 2 generations, on your mother's side. The main issue is a need for affection and attention. Behind this is an intense feeling of anxiety. Ok. Here's what seems to be coming through. 2 generations back, a woman on your mother's side was not able to understand about opening to sexuality and being able to receive it or the attention or affection that goes with it. It was just too much for her for some reason. It didn't jive with the unrelenting moral standards she had been indoctrinated with. What that did was leave her feeling extremely anxious, alone, and unable to receive affection. When there is a strong life experience like this, with intense emotions, the energy of it gets encoded in the DNA, like a genetic trait, which is then passed down from generation to generation unless it gets transmuted. And often, there is finally someone aware and sensitive and conscious enough in the family line whose job it is to do that. Guess that's you, yes? Because when you clear something ancestral like this up, you clear it for 6 generations back, and 6 generations forward. Pretty neat, huh? The trick, when you feel perplexed with something, or fearful, or anxious, or whatever, is always to first simply figure out what it is. Then you can heal it. It isn't always ancestral, but when it is, you are doing great stuff not only for yourself but also for your whole family - whether they ever know it or not.
So, what to do about it? The first thing you need to do is clear your chakras. Color healing in general seems to be a good healing technique for you, by the way. The way you do this is to sit down each day for perhaps 15 minutes, in a quiet space, with eyes closed, sit quietly in prayer or meditation, breathing slowly and deeply until you are very calm and relaxed. When you are relaxed, beginning at the base of your spine, at the tailbone, you visualize a beautiful, glowing, fire engine red light filling up that area. You ask with each chakra that it be restored 100% to perfect health, form, and functioning - that whatever needs to be restored, be restored, and whatever needs to be corrected, be corrected. Then you move up the body and visualize a beautiful orange light at your reproductive area.
Then, moving up the body, see a bright yellow light at the navel area. Remember, as you do this, you also ask silently that each area you are visualizing be cleared and brought back to perfect health and functioning. Then you move up to the heart and visualize a glowing green light there - emerald green. Then on up to the throat, where you clear that area by seeing a beautiful sky blue light. Then up to the brow, where you see a glowing indigo light. Then to the crown of the head, where you see a beautiful violet light. Even if you are not adept at being visual or seeing these colors, just by saying to yourself that that color is there, it will begin to work for you.
To finish, surround yourself with a beautiful, glowing white light, and see it totally filling you up from head to toe as well. There are actually minor chakras, or light intersection points, energy vortexes, in the body as well, besides the above mentioned main ones - 144 to be exact, and what I do with them is simply ask that they all be lit up with white light - sort of imagining myself like a bright starry sky or a lit up Christmas tree.
This will help immensely to get you back in balance. Clearing the chakras is a very important way to stay healthy and in balance. For your rational mind, here is the analogy: we are made of light, we are electrical frequencies, as physics will tell us, and just as the light spectrum has different frequencies which create different colors, depending on the speed of their vibration, red being the slowest and violet the fastest vibrational frequency, we too have different wavelengths in our bodies that vibrate at varying frequencies and correlate to the light spectrum. Deepak Chopra has a great book out, in tape form as well, called 'Magical Mind, Magical Body' about this - it's no longer available from Amazon but is still in many bookshops. And also, Caroline Myss, one of the great clairvoyant, intuitive healers of our time has a wonderful, inspiring and fascinating book out called 'Anatomy of the Spirit', that goes into a profound explanation of the chakras and what we are dealing with in each one. Either of both of these would be wonderful to read. They are both deeply enjoyable reading.
Ever wonder why all people are so enthralled with, mesmerized by, and love rainbows? It is because we are, ourselves, in effect, a rainbow. We somehow know that, and seeing one resonates deep within us with awe and joy, and reminds us of our Divine nature. We are a spectrum of light with different frequencies vibrating within us. Each frequency corresponds to a different level of conscious development, beginning with red, our roots, our family, our tribe of origin, up to violet and white light, which is higher spiritual thought, awareness, and communion with the Divine. By keeping your chakras clear, you will become a more harmonious person, and you will be much clearer, more able to incorporate and generate the higher awareness of peace, love, and joy from within you.
For you also, Edward, there is a hole in your aura that needs to be repaired. Here's how you do that: Stand with your arms upraised at a 60 degree angle each from the body, with fingers closed, thumbs out. Hold for one minute. You can also accompany this with what is called the Breath of Fire. This is a very fast, non-stopping breath, through the nose, in and out as fast as you can. It's important not to do this breath too long to start with, as it is very powerful and you can get very woozy or pass out if you do it too much. So, start with it a bit at a time as you do this exercise until you can do it for a full minute. It is a deeply purifying breath and does create a fiery energy in the body. Make sure you drink a lot of water afterwards all day. I would suggest that you do this twice a day for 6 days.
That's enough to do for a while. The main issue here for you, for this DNA issue, is : OPEN TO RECEIVE.