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"I have so many problems I hardly feel like myself anymore"

Dear Ayal,

I am interested in what you would have to say to me. I am Roman Catholic but am just discovering my faith. I have had some "psychic" experiences involving receiving feeling from other people when I was younger but didn't know what it meant. At the time it was scary and I closed myself off to avoid the experiences. (Most occurred when I was touching someone, i.e. a back rub.) I have a list a mile long of medical issues that I am dealing with and I am to the point where life just doesn't seem worth the struggle. The major issues that I seem to have are ADD, depression, fibromyalgia, Raynaud's phenomenon, PCOS, hypoglycemia, tinnitus, frequent dizziness and fatigue etc. I hardly feel like myself anymore. As you might guess, my family is a mess. My children also have medical issues and my marriage is strained. What does all this mean, and what can I do to start feeling better. How do I heal my family?

The question isn't how do you heal your family, but how do you heal yourself. Sounds as if from the beginning, you listened to what others thought was "right" - i.e., Roman Catholics don't receive psychic messages, and so forth, so you shut yourself down. Guess what happens when you shut yourself down? When you stop being yourself? The life force can't work, and without energy and the joy of being yourself, you get sick.

I think what is going on is that you don't have a sense of yourself, and so everybody else's stuff pours into you. In other words, you are an empty receptive vessel that is filled up with all the stuff around you, that is present in your environment, from people, to thought forms, to emotional debris, etc, and, as you said, you hardly feel like yourself anymore. How can you, with everyone else's emotional and psychic junk in your space (i.e., your being)? You probably are still very psychic and are picking up all of the junk in your environment, and you don't know it, or know how to keep from taking it on, or once you have it, how to release it. Again, no room for your own energy to fill you up, flow, and keep you well. If you learn how to keep yourself well, how surprised would you be that your children then will also learn how to keep themselves well?

Here's what I suggest:

  1. Get in touch with The Foundation for Shamanic Studies - you need to do a power animal journey. They have classes to teach this. It will help you learn how to handle energy and keep your own boundaries. And once you have your power animal working with you, it can help you get well, teach you, give you your power, and guide you.
  2. Take time for yourself - go on a seclusion - a retreat where you are just with yourself for at least 6 days - somewhere you can be totally alone and with yourself. During that time, in meditation or prayer, ask that everyone else's energy that is in you be fully and completely released. Visualize the white light, which is the Christ energy, flowing through your whole body from your head down to your toes and releasing into the earth, carrying away any and all energy that belongs somewhere else, asking that you keep only that which is you, and for your Highest Good. I suggest that you do this every day and every night from now on, actually. And keep the white light around you in a gentle glow, continuously surrounding you, to keep out any energy other than your own.
  3. Ask, intend strongly with all your heart, that you are willing to have the experience of being yourself, whole, healthy, 100% of the time. I would also intend and make an intention that you are willing to have the experience of being all of who you truly are, totally filled up with your own wonderful, vibrant energy at all times. You can also intend that everything that is needed to be released for you to be 100% healthy be easily and gently and appropriately released for your Highest Good. I would repeat these intentions every day, from now on, and watch to see that you do not counteract them by thinking other thoughts, such as "I'm sick". The Universe will give you whatever you intend. So keep the signals clear.
  4. Order the aurasoma essence number 8 from srutisrainbow@yahoo.com. Ask for information about this remedy, what it's for, and how to use it.
  5. Read the The Laws of the Universe every day - and really understand it. Put it into action as to how you live your life.

As I was thinking about your letter, it just came to me that there could be something in your physical environment that may be making you all sick, since you said that your children were sick as well. Do you live near a power plant, or a sub station? Do you live near any factories, or airports? Do they spray near you with any kinds of pesticides, or do you use pesticides in your home? Have you had your water checked? If there is something nearby (or within the home) that is polluting the environment, it could be causing your illnesses. Sub stations are known to badly distort our electrical energy and cause all sorts of havoc in our bodies. I would invite you to take a good look around, maybe even get in touch with an environmental group if you think this may be a possibility.

Good luck. Ayal

55. "My husband is in extreme pain - how can I help him"


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