"Finding answers to why my body does not work properly on a physical level has proven difficult."
You have helped me a lot over the past year or so when I have felt stuck, and so here I am again :)
I have had health issues for 14 years now - chronic fatigue syndrome, pyroluria, adrenal insufficiency, something like PTSD, etc etc etc. I'm on the way to getting on top of these issues (or at least I hope I am) but I'm feeling a little demoralised at the moment. Finding answers to why my body does not work properly on a physical level has proven difficult. Emotional and other energetic levels are a different story - I feel much happier with those aspects of my healing than I do with the physical. And now I am perimenopausaul and think that the beginnings of my periods stopping may be only a year or so away. I'm 42.
I've always had issues with having bouts of paranoia and suspicion. My grandmother was the same so I think there may be some physical tendency there. I also have pyroluria, and one of the symptoms of that is delusional thoughts. I feel like the paranoia I sometimes feel is definitely strongest when it comes to my partner. My relationship with my father and my brother unfortunately had effects on me as a child which I am still working to overcome to this day. Those dynamics play out with my partner. I hate it. I feel like I am reasonably mentally healthy (most of the time) but when it comes to this area, I feel like I am sick.
Just wondering if there are any insights you may have into how to treat this. Sometimes I wonder if I should go the medication route, but I do not like the thought of that route, I must say.
Thank you for any help you can offer along the way.
OK. Let’s get to it.
The thing that is showing up for you in FEAR. Not trusting the flow and process of life.
When you are in fear, the body shuts down. It’s like putting a dam across a river. Because Love is the opposite of fear – and because the Universe/spirit/All that is, as all the great teachers inform us, is based on Love, and that is what creates everything, when we go into fear, we are in direct opposition to what creates life and is life affirming. The immune system thrives on joy. So, when we are not in Love and Joy, it’s as if you are feeding your body a stream of non-nutritious and even toxic energy. It’s like a plant trying to grow and thrive in poor soil, with not enough light or water to sustain it.
Even your sentence about “fearing” that you might devolve into schizophrenia is based on fear.
The definition of fear is this: False Experiences Appearing Real. Fear is all based in the mind. There is a reason it is called “The Monkey Mind”. The mind flits from thing to thing, thought to thought – it can think anything it wants to, but that doesn’t mean that it is real.
It is also said that, “The longest journey you will ever make is from your mind to your Heart,” and this is true, I think. We have to train ourselves and practice and learn how to let go of allowing the mind to have the reins of our being, and shift it to the great, cosmic wisdom of the Heart.
That is your journey now. It needs to be Heart based, not mind based. The Heart needs to be the one telling the mind what thought to think. This is called “Heart Coherence”. When we are “coherent” it all makes sense, to ourselves, and to everybody else.
Your mantra : I TRUST THE PROCESS OF LIFE.
This is what would be great for you to say, with a rich, heartfelt feeling of trust and love and safety, many times a day – but really allowing yourself to FEEL IT – I usually feel this kind of energy when watching a sunset, or some other delicious Spirit given experience. It is Spirit revealing Itself. One can’t doubt the beauty and love available to everyone then. It’s all encompassing, and right there to be participated in.
So, when you find yourself in the false experience of fear, don’t buy into it. It’s an illusion. Flip the switch, move to your heart – you can even put your hands on your heart to focus your attention there. Breathe in and out through the heart for a while. Then, focus on/remember something that you love – as you focus on your heart and breathe into it. Allow this feeling of love to flow and permeate all through your heart. You can do this all throughout your day, and no one will even know. Then you have gotten back on track.
It’s all a practice. Just finding and using the right tools.