Hi Ayal, first I would like to thank you, for your loving help. I really appreciate it. I have already written you once, about my jealousy problem, and not trusting life, and it had really helped me. I have some issues at this time, coming to the surface of my awareness, that I don't know how to resolve. I am using the method of "let it be". But I am courious of your thoughts.
On the outside I appear as a rather open person. I seem outgoing and relaxed, but the more intimate me is quite the opposite. I have been like this all my life. This side comes out with my close frinds, family and my partner. I wish to be that way, taking things more lightly and seeing the funny side of things, but I have a blockage, that is coming and going in waves. But since I am a very intense person, the wave is also very intense. Recently I have stepped on the path of increased financial and business responsibility (which has never been my home) and I find it difficult to relax and just be. I have a tendency to expect a lot from myself and others, especially from my partner, giving the relationship heavy pressure. I feel as if I get cought in a mental-emotional cramp, and I am unable to give love, receive love and feeling very judgemental. I am realizing all of this, while it is happening, but I just am not able to break the cycle. I feel as I am putting the walls around me, feeling uncentered, cranky, unaccepting... trying to convince myself otherwise, but it just gets worse doing that, because I am putting the judgement on myself.
I know the way is love and I am focused on this more relaxed life, filled with love and unity, but this dark side of me keeps me locked in. Then it`s like a cloud has been lifted, and the light shines on me. And I bathe in it, feeling the love, thanking for this bliss and grace, but the fear of it ending is always present. I really fear my other self for destructing the beauty in my life. The seriousness, fear and rigidity are not the way I wish to be.
Hi - glad you wrote in. I can relate to what you shared here, as I too have been challenged with this. I want to share some information that was sent to me the other day that I think will help you with this.
We live on a planet that is based on duality - we live in a dualistic universe. This is its very nature. It manifests as the principle of opposites in that forces tend to have equal and opposite reactions. This applies to the physics of your universe and to the very nature of dualistic consciousness itself. This dualistic nature of your universe is being affected by the Time Acceleration that you are going through. This disturbing increase in polarization is occurring as a result of the energetics we are all going through (i.e. the changes in our sun as well as pulses of accelerated evolution from the Central Sun of our galaxy and from deep space) and the fact that we are undergoing the extreme effects of Time Acceleration. One net result of this is an increase in duality or the polarization of human consciousness. Polarized conflicts between nations, communities, religions and persons are on the rise. This unfortunate state of affairs is to be expected as planetary and galactic energetics increase.
Our message deals with a strategy for navigating through the difficulties of increased polarization. Indeed you may have already discovered that in some of your social circles there is a type of hostility and polarized views of situations. The strategy we suggest is called the Triune Force.
It is an attribute of spiritual mastery and will allow you to move through polarization with greater efficiency and a greater likelihood of manifesting what you desire as opposed to being "caught up" in the dramas of polarization and conflict.
The principle is simple. As a human being you tend to be attracted to persons or situations, or you are repulsed by them. This tendency to fall into attraction or repulsion is, for the most part, an unconscious act.
You may encounter someone and feel drawn to him or her, and the depth or intensity of the attraction may cause you to delete other information about the person. Likewise as situations arise around you, whether they be social, political, personal, or religious, you may likewise find yourself drawn to these situations without other information that would be helpful in determining if a given situation was "right" for you or not. The same holds true for repulsion. You may find yourself repulsed by someone, or a situation, or something within yourself, and likewise, identify with the repulsion, thereby cutting yourself off from other information that might be helpful.
The Triune Force
If you were to imagine a triangle and on the left corner of the triangle was attraction and on the right side of the triangle was repulsion, then the point above these two extremes is the Triune Force. It is a mental perspective that has spiritual attributes. It allows you to float above the situation and view it from multiple perspectives.
If, for instance, you are attracted to a person and surrender to that attraction without allowing access to signs and information about that person then you have put yourself in a precarious position.
But by not identifying with the attraction you "float up" to the Triune Force and are free to observe behaviors that may signal the inappropriateness or dangerous nature of a relationship with that person.
Likewise, if you are repulsed by a person or situation the Triune Force allows you to "float above" and dis-identify with the repulsion, and while you are in this dis-identification you are free to see other levels involved. It could be that this person or situation is toxic to you, or it could be that this person or situation is a mirror reflecting back to you something you do not like in yourself.
By momentarily suspending your identification with either attraction or repulsion you are able to see more clearly and access information about the person or situation from an expanded perspective.
Knowledge is power, and the Triune Force gives you access to the innate powers of clarity. So our suggestion in this time of increased human polarization and Time Acceleration is to watch yourself. When you fall into attraction, pause for a moment. Step away from your identification with the attraction. Float up above it, as it were, and engage the Triune Force. You do this so that you enter the relationship, whether it be with a person or a situation, with open eyes.
If you are repulsed by a person or a situation, pause for a moment and dis-identify with your distaste for the person or situation. Float above the situation or person, as it were, and engage the Triune Force to see more deeply--to sense with greater clarity--if this person or situation is toxic, or if it is a mirror for something in yourself that you need to transform.
As you enter more deeply into the polarization phase of planetary assent, the Triune Force can greatly assist you as you pass through this difficult period of increased personal, interpersonal and collective conflict.
If you tend to imagine things visually, think of a triangle. Put the force of attraction at the far left corner and the force of repulsion at the far right. The point of the triangle above the two corners is the perspective of the Triune Force. Through this perspective we can look down and see or sense things that we might not see or sense when we are caught up in the throws of attraction or repulsion.
The triangle is just a metaphor, of course. What you are actually doing is rising up in awareness so that you are no longer enchanted by the force of attraction or the force of repulsion. From this state of non-identification with either state (attraction or repulsion) you can better sense information that might be helpful to your decision making process.
There is a shift in our thinking process required to engage the Triune Force, and that shift is simply to step away from self-identification. Instead of rushing in and doing the normal human thing, which is to identify with our attractions or repulsions, we temporarily intervene in our own automatic responses for the purpose of gaining valuable information. The type of information that we can access when we are in a state of non-identification is qualitatively different from the types of information that we access when we are caught up in the intensity of the moment.
In addition to stopping the process of self-identification, the Hathors suggest a shift in spatial perspective as another step to engage the Triune Force:
"When you fall into attraction, pause for a moment. Step away from your identification with the attraction. Float up above it, as it were, and engage the Triune Force. You do this so that you enter the relationship, whether it be with a person or a situation, with open eyes.
If you are repulsed by a person or a situation, pause for a moment and dis-identify with your distaste for the person or situation. Float above the situation or person, as it were, and engage the Triune Force to see more deeply--to sense with greater clarity--if this person or situation is toxic, or if it is a mirror for something in yourself that you need to transform."
If you have developed spatial abilities you will be able to imagine yourself floating up above the situation or interaction and observe yourself being attracted or repulsed. This spatial separation of an "observer" part from the "responder" part can be quite helpful in suspending the pattern of identifying with your responses (i.e., attraction or repulsion). But if you don't have this type of spatial ability, it will be difficult for you to do this. If you are unable to "float above the situation or person" that you are responding to, don't worry about it. The primary action required to engage the Triune Force is simply to stop your own process of self-identification so that you can sense new types of information about the situation or person.
To be human is to have attractions and repulsions. It is just part of the human-mammalian equation. All animals have an innate biological response that moves toward something (attraction) or away from it (repulsion). And the Hathors are not suggesting that we eliminate this type of biological response. They are simply saying that when we temporarily suspend our self-identification with those responses, doors open in consciousness (metaphorically speaking). New insights and understanding become accessible to us, and with that knowledge we can create and co-create with greater mastery. If, however, we are caught up in the excitement of attraction or the fear of repulsion, then we often fail to see or sense "red flags" or other crucial information about the person or situation. How many "negative" relationships and/or situations might we have all avoided had we been able to "see" those things we were blind to in the moment of intense attraction (or in some cases, repulsion)?
I think there is a personal discipline required to engage this method. And it necessitates that we avoid the emotional intoxication that takes place when we are really caught up in a strong attraction or repulsion. And as with many aspects of our emotional lives, this is sometimes easier said than done. But I think the emotional discipline is well worth the effort. If nothing else, it will lead us to deeper psychological insight, and this is a good thing. In addition, however, engaging the Triune Force can help us as creators and co-creators by giving us access to higher levels of information regarding whom or what we might be contemplating a co-creation with.
So - I invite you to try this - rising above being both attracted and repulsed... in that way, we are accepting all that is and viewing it from a higher state of consciousness. It is ok and natural to have a polarization within yourself, as that is what this planet is all about. The trick is not to feed it with emotional energy - there is no right or wrong about it. It just IS. And when you come from this perception, you get free of it.