Trans4mind Home Page
Clearing the Way

"I have achieved sobriety but something within me keeps me from going on with life"

Hi Ayal, I enjoy your website, and your clarity on issues is amazing. I also admire your communication skills. As a writer, you are able to address the issue in question so clearly. Thanks.

My question is regarding possible grief and its affect on my life today. At age 23, I lost my 5 month old daughter to SIDS. The years since her death, I have started over, and over. Jobs have been left, classes attended etc. I recently finished 8 months of school, only to become depressed after it was over and I am currently finally looking for a job.

I have had 2 children after my daughter died, both who live with their dad. Today, I am 8 days short of being one year clean and free of drugs, alcohol, and I want to achieve some serenity in my life - something within me keeps me back in time, from going on with life. I want to keep on striving forward, rather than get so far and take such a long break. Despite of the issue, I am very pleased of my achievement of maintaining my sobriety. I know this will give me a chance. I want to go on with my life. Thanks for any advice you may have.

Hi and thanks for writing in... I also want to commend you on your sobriety. Good work. I know that that involves great commitment and determination. OK. Here goes. Well, what is showing up first is your 1st chakra, or root chakra, located at the end of the tailbone, or coccyx needs to be healed. You are ungrounded, and feeling uprooted, and your will to live got wounded. The way you balance the energies of the body through chakra clearing is to sit down each day for perhaps 15 minutes, in a quiet space, with eyes closed, as you would sit quietly in prayer or meditation, breathing slowly and deeply until you are very calm and relaxed. When you are relaxed, focus on the area at the base of your spine, and visualize a beautiful, glowing, fire engine red gently spinning wheel of light filling up that area. You ask that this chakra be restored 100% to perfect health, form, and functioning - that whatever needs to be restored, be restored, and whatever needs to be corrected be corrected, and whatever needs to be released is released. When you have finished visualizing and being with this light, send it three feet down into the earth.

The next thing that is showing up for you is "TRUST YOUR SOURCE". There are three difficulties that can get in the way of trusting our source. The first is DEFENSE - being defensive, which is actually self doubt. The second is BEING IN DENIAL, and the third is REBELLIOUSNESS. I think that you have been operating out of rebelliousness, which in a way is saying my way or the highway, and actually comes from feeling helpless. When one feels helpless, they often move into despair, as you did. Often too, that anger at feeling helpless gets turned upon themselves, into self punishing behavior, as yours did. It is really important for you to get that there is NEVER any reason or need to judge yourself harshly - or to judge yourself AT ALL. We're aspects of God. Divine Intelligence made manifest in form.

Look at it this way, if God is the ocean, or sunshine, do we stand in front of a ray of sunlight, or stand in front of the ocean and judge it and say it isn't good enough, or that it's doing something wrong? No. Of course not. The same is true of the way to look at yourself. Your self evaluation of yourself (a 6th chakra issue, located at the spiritual eye in the center of the forehead, or pituitary gland - how you see life) has been off. Critical blame and Judgment is NOT Love. And Love is all there is. So, it makes sense to me that when a person moves into a vacuum, into a place of NOT LOVE, they have cut themselves off from source, or from who they really are, and, feeling this vacuum, or loss of themselves, they try to find it or fill it up with something external, and some addictive behavior is created. So, the answer is, go back to our Source. If you are angry at or rebelling against source, however, then that can be a difficult thing to do. So, make your peace with God, or spirit, and with yourself.

You have been pretty head strong in this rebelliousness. Time to let it go and move into wisdom, instead. What is the wisdom your higher, true self has to offer you hear? I think, if you sit quietly and ask to hear what it has to share with you, you'll receive something very important. Swami Beyondananda, who uses humor as a teaching, once said something that is appropriate for you here. He said: "If you're looking to find a key to the Universe, I have some bad news and some good news. The bad new is there is no key to the Universe. The good news is that it has been left unlocked."

When you are no longer operating out of rebelliousness, I think that you will find more clarity and an ability to assimilate life experiences in a way that brings you peace and wisdom and understanding.

There are three aspects to transform (generally speaking) in life in order to live a successful life. Think of life like a three legged stool in which all the legs are needed for balance. We must transform our will into Courage; our reason, or thinking with the mind, into Wisdom; and our power into Love.

Your strength of will could use some shoring up. That's a 5th chakra issue, located at the throat where mercy and truth must co-exist in harmony together. It will also be important that you keep your intentions pure and communicate with pure intentions. Since the throat or 5th chakra has to do with taking the truth or wisdom of our hearts, (pure intention) and putting that out into what we speak, this makes sense to me. What we speak becomes what we manifest, as it is what we believe. When you speak from your heart, and speak your truth, in whatever situation you are in, I think that you will also find that your nervousness, which is a core issue for you, will begin to disappear and be healed. To help with all of this, I invite you to contact the James Twyman website at www.emissaryoflight.com, and ask them what you need to do to receive the sacred heart meditation teachings.

I invite you to also work with the 5th and 6th chakras - you follow the same procedure as in the first, except that in the 5th chakra, the color of the wheel of light is sky blue, and in the 6th it is indigo. And you do not send them into the earth as you did to ground yourself with the root chakra.

When you find yourself feeling Anxiety, place your forefinger at your hairline at the corner of your forehead on the right and rub in a diagonal line down to the bridge of your nose ending at the tip of your right eyebrow. Then do the same starting at the left corner of your forehead rubbing in a diagonal line down to the bridge of your nose ending at the tip of your left eyebrow. Do this at least 4 times each, or more, if needed, until you feel some sort of relief or release occur.

Also, to help support you in your healing it would be great for you to take some Flower essences...

You need:

  1. mustard, for cheerfulness and depressive states or gloom and despair: the sense that there is a black cloud over you
  2. nasturtium, for vitality and rejuvenation
  3. sunflower for addiction and balanced ego forces
  4. zinnia for acceptance and lightness
  5. dogwood, for an over-hardening of emotions due to past trauma
  6. Indian Pink, for calmness in life
  7. rock water, for criticalness and seriousness
  8. sweet chestnut, for death and dying, for faith when it has been stretched beyond all limits
These can be ordered from the Flower Essence Society, phone number is 530/265-9163. They are made with a little brandy, however, but you can request that they be made with vinegar instead if that poses a problem. I'd make the following tincture with them all together. Fill up a glass tincture bottle with spring water and a few drops of apple cider vinegar, and add: 3 drops of mustard; 6 of nasturtium; 4 of sunflower; 7 of zinnia; 4 of dogwood; 3 of Indian Pink; 8 of rock water; and 5 of sweet chestnut. Take 4 drops of this under the tongue (use an eye dropper that goes with tincture bottles) 4 times a day for 3 years.

Blessings, Ayal

385. "My suppressed feelings are erupting out - is that a good thing?"


Click here to donate & send a question to Ayal:
Clearing the Way   |   Laws of the Universe   |   Recommended Links

Looking for personal healing?

Trans4mind Training is our series of online, interactive video workshops. We present the most effective methods of holistic personal development, combined with support from expert life coaches.
The human heart made visible.

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
I think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!