Trans4mind Home Page
Clearing the Way

"Criticism in childhood has given me a life-long inner feeling of shame"

Last night when I was meditating, I had an understanding that I carry a tremendous amount of shame with me. Because I have this shame, I am afraid of exposure. Because I am afraid of exposure I am afraid to succeed because of the bright light that would shine on me which would bring out what I consider deep flaws. I don't know what I am ashamed about but I hope to figure that out soon. Actually, I am remembering something. As a child I was told I was inadequate by the two women in the family who are infertile. They repeated it so much, picking out my flaws that I felt self-conscious even about answering questions in interviews for the newspapers after I won. I wondered what was wrong with me to make them criticize me so much. I felt like a victim of their hatred and jealousy but I didn't realize they were in my life to make me confront my own issues.

Sounds as if some light is shining in for you, helping you to see what it is that you need to see and understand. Shame may be an issue in your family that needs to be healed. All you can do is heal it within yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of - and as we become honest with ourselves, and love ourselves for ALL that we are - as we understand that those "flaws" we are so afraid to face or to let anyone see are actually gifts to us - then we heal. Those so called flaws are only places waiting for more understanding, more growth on our part, so that they can emerge into the light. They are our teachers, because they make us confront where we still need to grow in love and understanding, and they point the way. So, when you embrace them, instead of hiding from them, they teach you a huge amount, and turn into wisdom and light.

I think you also need to explore whether or not you carried the belief, as I mentioned, that you were only loved for what you could do. That belief needs to be released, and a new belief put in its place. If your family carries a lot of shame, then I can see that they may have looked to your success as an way to feel better about themselves. Or worse, as you mentioned about the 2 women in your family who felt so ashamed of themselves that they projected that anger and jealousy off onto you instead of facing it and healing it in themselves. But seeing that as a child must have definitely imprinted deeply upon you, and frightened you, and made you feel insecure, vulnerable, and threatened, and given you the belief that others would resent you for your success. I think that's a belief that you can let go of.

When you can feel compassion for them, then you will be generating love from within yourself, and that love can then be offered to yourself, as well. Then you will realize that you are not dependent upon others to feel good about yourself, because you can love yourself, without judgment, for being who you are. Then a lot will heal for you. If the 2 women in your family had done that, they would have healed as well. We ALL come into this life to learn and grow. That's nothing to be ashamed about - it's a great opportunity actually. Should a 3 year old child feel ashamed for being 3, because he or she is not yet 12 years old? No. We come here to grow and learn as we go. And what is so amazing is that when we learn and grow, what we remember is that we were always already perfect and whole. We had just forgotten it temporarily. So we come full circle, and realize that there's only ourselves to return to - and that Self is pure Love.

Blessings, Ayal

373. "What if someone reacts in a negative way when I speak my truth?"

Click here to donate & send a question to Ayal:
Clearing the Way   |   Laws of the Universe   |   Recommended Links

Looking for personal healing?

Trans4mind Training is our series of online, interactive video workshops. We present the most effective methods of holistic personal development, combined with support from expert life coaches.
Making your heartfelt dreams come true.

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
I think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!