"I feel quite exhausted trying to free myself from negative energy"
Blessings to you Ayal. I happened to find your site just recently and was so excited when I read some of the letters people wrote to you. I have been struggling for a long time now and feel quite exhausted trying to free myself from negative energy. Back in 1978 I had a tremendous experience where I felt the most wonderful surge of Love flow through me that it changed my life. Since that time many horrible things have happened to me that have caused me a great deal of grief and has stopped the flow of love. I so desire to feel and give love again that it causes me to feel more anger than love. My relationship with my family has been severed and I am much alone. I don't know how to release myself from these blockages and it causes me much stress. I have high blood pressure and have now started to do Urine Therapy. How do you feel about this? Please help me get free again...
I get that you are needing to do some birth work. There is a man named Emerson whom you can locate on the net, I believe, who offers some profound techniques and workshops to work with one's birth and any trauma attendant to that..
I am also getting that you need to meditate to realize the beauty, grace, and love that directs your life and connects you to your true self. A great meditation for you to do is the Merkaba meditation. You can order this CD, which is a guided meditation, at www.drunvalo.net.
Also, your aura needs some repair. This will open your heart chakra, as well. To do this, bring your hands together at the bottom of the palms, with the thumb and pinkie fingers touching the thumb and pinkie of the other hand, and the other fingers out, so that you are making a cupped shape with your hands. Place this over your heart. Breathe and meditate for a few minutes. You can also say: "My heart is enough". I'd do this twice, but you can also simply place you hands over your heart anytime from now on, one on top of the other, and say "My heart is enough" whenever you feel the need to open your heart and reaffirm yourself. You are the only you there is, so value that and allow yourself to see the beauty that you are. There is no need to compete with others, or undervalue yourself. You are special and unique. When you know this and give this understanding to yourself, you can also give it to others.
You are really needing to open to the transcendent and radiant forces of your divine nature, and not be caught in the ego or lower self which judges and focuses on what is wrong. Meditation will help you to connect with the divine power within you. You have had a lot of spiritual confusion. Time to clear that up. It is also time to cultivate tolerance, affection for others, sensitivity and consideration toward others, and non judgment. When you accept that your own internal issues and beliefs created what happened for you in your life, there is no need to blame others, and instead, your heart can open as you realize that all of these experiences were teachers for you, gifts, in fact, to mirror yourself back to you, to wake you up so that you would have the opportunity to make different choices in your life regarding your own beliefs and patterns.
As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. It is important for you to let go of any blame toward others you are holding onto. You have held onto a need to be competitive, bitter, vindictive and remorseless. That's not healthy and not in harmony with spiritual truth, or with your true self, and will create difficult situations for you in your life. I don't believe that "things happen to us". I believe that our internal energetic patterns create whatever happens to us. Healing comes from taking responsibility for our own energetic patterns, emotions and choices, for knowing that what goes on for us is never caused by or about another person, place, or thing: that we created it.
There are issues up for you to heal that deal with your feelings or beliefs about equality, about feeling discarded, needing to follow others, being indecisive, or having an inability to implement decisions, (to make the choice to heal, and follow through with it) and an inability to relax due to nervousness. You can choose to let those go and create new beliefs and new emotions that will be fulfilling. Some deep body work to release old patterns held in the muscles would be good for you. If you can, have a deep tissue massage twice a week for 3 weeks.
Two Aura-Soma products will help support you in this healing. One is the magenta quintessence, for a re-awakening to love and beauty, and the other is the equilibrium oil #2, the blue Mother Mary essence, for deep peace. These can be ordered at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Drinking tomato juice would be good for you, one cup every 3 days for 2 months, and taking vitamin E for your heart, about 300 IU every 3 days for about 2 weeks would be good. Also taking hawthorn would be good, about 400 mg daily for 5 days.