"Attention deficiency in my child - what might be the cause?"
I am hoping to find someone who can offer some advice regarding my son. He's a delightful five year old; articulate, outgoing, and bright... extremely bright. I've been told by day cares, pre-schools, and now Kindergarten that he is probably ADHD. Because his Montessori pre-primary teacher was so adamant that he needed testing and medication, and because of her insistence that my son has some severe learning disability, we started the process to test for ADHD. According to the psychologist he cannot be tested until he is six years old. My son has some major impulsivity issues as a result of his probable ADHD, and because of this has difficulty coping in school. Although his present teacher does not feel that he is learning disabled, and in fact has said that he will probably be recommended for a gifted and talented program offered by the school district, she does feel that his impulsivity is causing problems in school, with his friends, and interfering with the learning process for the other children.
I have been opposed to medication for this condition, but am now resigning myself to the fact that it may be an inevitable end to his struggle. Because my child is only five, and cannot be tested for the condition until six, he cannot be medicated until six either. His teacher handles him very well, but some of the other teachers in the school do not know the proper way to handle children like mine. I don't know how to make the learning process smoother for my son. I know that he does not misbehave on purpose, and I strongly feel that the teachers should redirect him when his impulsivity emerges, rather than reprimanding him in front of his peers. I've asked that this be considered, not just for my son, but for all the children in the school and have been told that this is basically out of the question.
I'd like to know if you can offer any advice that would help me to help my son curb his impulsivity... and help him increase his ability to focus. We've tried modifying his diet and have been giving him flax oil for about three months. We have also tried using a nutritional supplement called Pedi-Active ADD. His focus seems to have improved somewhat, but not the impulsivity.
Thank you for writing. It is obvious how much you care for your son. I hope that what comes through here for you will prove helpful. As you probably know, Jules, often the answers and guidance I receive can be pretty far off the main stream, but, as I have come to understand, there is so much more to this reality which we know of as life, than we have any idea. As Shakespeare put it: "There is more to life than is dreamt of in your philosophy, Horatio." So, having said that, here is what I got for your son. He is allergic to a virus that is in his system. He got this virus between the age of 4-5 years old. He needs to get the virus out of his system. My guidance said that this could be done if your son will confront the virus with his words and tell it it MUST leave his body and never return. This must be done with STRONG conviction - absolutely refusing to let it live inside him anymore. He may need to do this more than once. The stronger he does it, the better, even if he has to scream for it to get out. In fact, if he would do that, that would be great. I get that twice will do it.
You don't want him getting into it as a game where he can go around screaming - but tell him how important this is, and that he is to take it seriously (but not to overdo it). You could set aside some time where you explain this to him, and when he is alone with you in a quiet, safe place, then ask him to sense it in his body, to see if he can see it or feel it - then, he can do what he needs to do to tell it to go, and you can ask him to sense when it leaves. That will be good. Then he must reframe his thinking - in other words, he needs to then think of himself and see himself as he would be without the virus and his allergic reaction to it dictating his life. He must see himself, in other words, as he would feel best being, and know that that is who he really is. He must let go of the old image of himself with the virus, and see himself free and clear and balanced, without it. Blessings with this journey - I would appreciate hearing again from you if you find that this has helped.