"I am jealous of my husband's relationship at work"
I have never had a jealous bone in my body before now. I am a divorced women, 43 years of age, I have met a man who is 32 and we have been living together since March, my first thing was I had found a note in his car one day, from a gal at his work, that read "I can't wait to see you again, I love you." When he got home I asked him about it and he said this gal at his work had low esteem and he tried to boost it up for the last couple months but she took it wrong and started writing these notes and leaving them on his car, he said he asked her to quit, but she didn't, then few days later she called me at home and said we need to meet, that she was pregnant with my boyfriend's child, and that she loved him so much. I freaked and when he got home we talked and yelled, and then he called his work and he turned her in at work for harassment, but they couldn't do anything but talk to her, that's when she said her husband got out of jail and punched her in the stomach and she lost the child, but she still said they slept together. He is a very nice man and women do like him, I am constantly thinking he's looking at other women, and he wants someone else but me, and telling him guess they look better than me huh? I'm really not sure if he is, but today it sure looked like he went and looked behind me at this gal's butt, and well I got upset cause we were talking and he didn't hear me, so I said you would of if you were not checking out her A**. I'm thinking it's the age thing and I have a low self esteem and so on, but what do you think? please, any advice at all would be great.
Well, you have some 2nd chakra issues going on... I will enclose info on the 2nd chakra, and some questions for you to answer, but I invite you to read Caroline Myss's book, 'Anatomy of the Spirit' to get more info on it. In the second chakra are found issues of blame and guilt, both of which you have going on. You blame yourself for not being good enough, and you blame him for what he does, then you feel guilty and also do your best to put guilt onto him. None of that is conducive to a good relationship or to one's personal balance.
There is also an issue showing up, interestingly enough, of self centeredness. So, although you have low self esteem going on, and perhaps because of that, there is a need to have everything center around you. To help with this, I invite you to order the Aura-Soma quintessence, which carries the energy of sacrificial love with caring and a new degree of compassion. I'd also order the #2 equilibrium oil, the Mother Mary essence, for deep peace. You can order them at firstname.lastname@example.org.
You have some bitterness to release. To work with this, place one hand on your forehead, covering the point between the eyes at the top of the nose bone, as well as the spiritual eye point in the center of the forehead, and the other hand at the base of your skull, and think about releasing this energy and replacing it with the ability to listen to your Inner Guidance. Feel how good that would feel to be balanced and wise and at peace. You can also say: "All the origins of this problem are healing now. Thank you!"
Do you have children? If so, you have an issue about believing that you raised them wrong. You also have a fear and a belief that you will be ignored. You can work with clearing both of these by using the formula for changing core beliefs found in the Laws of the Universe on this site. Would be good for you to read all of that information found in the Laws.
Here is some very basic info on the 2nd chakra, the Svadisthana or sacral chakra:
(a) The 2nd chakra is the partnership/power of relationships chakra. With the 2nd chakra, energy shifts from obeying tribal authority to discovering other relationships that satisfy personal and physical needs. Every relationship we develop serves the purpose of helping us to become more conscious. Relationships are all spiritual messengers. From the lessons of the 2nd chakra, we learn to see ourselves as reflected by the duality. We evolve from All is One (the tribal state), to being/seeing the other. We create our own reality. We learn that the universe is a mirror of our own internal landscape. We learn that that Life is reflected back to us. We also learn that we must divide, or individuate, and gain our own sense of self and power, in order to create workable relationships, before we can come back together consciously.
(b) Exploring the power of choice - dealing with duality/significance of opposites so that we come to know ourselves/personal and professional decision making ability and talent.
(c) Independent interactions - giving and receiving physical, mental, and spiritual pleasure. Flow of power between self and others - relationships and their effects on us.
(d) The ability to survive physically and financially on one's own: power, money; self sufficiency/personal identity and boundaries/ to defend and protect oneself/ fight or flight/ ability to take risks/ the resilience to recover from loss.
(e) The desire to create, managing creative energy, and contribute - honor one another - managing sexual power/the quantity of emotional and sexual energy.
(f) Love manifests as caring for others to whom we are not connected by blood.
(g) Enables us to generate a sense of personal identity and protective psychological boundaries - the 2nd chakra energy of a healthy physical ego keeps us able to interact with the world of seductive forces (sex, money, other people, etc) without having to sell ourselves.
(h) Our need to control the dynamics of our physical environment. Attachments to authority, money, people, other power sources.
To learn to interact consciously with others to form unions with people who support our development and to release relationships that handicap our growth.
I think it would be useful for you to carefully look over this 2nd chakra info and taking it piece by piece, ask yourself how you do in those areas it speaks about. For instance:
Where am I at with -
1) Understanding and accepting that every relationship I develop serves the purpose of helping me to become more conscious?
2) Have I learned to see myself as reflected by the relationship I'm in?
(3) How well do I make and use the power of choice? How am I with personal and professional decision making ability and talent?
(4) Do I still have fear or doubt regarding my ability to survive physically and financially on my own? Where am I at regarding issues of power, money, self sufficiency? Do I get seduced by the world of seductive forces (sex, money, other people, etc)? Do I sell myself out in any way to get these things? Do I have any attachments to authority, money, people, other power sources outside of myself?
5) Do I set people up as authority over me, as a boss, etc., and then feel resentful, angry, afraid?
6) Where am I at regarding issues that deal with personal identity and boundaries? How well do I defend and protect myself? Do I go into fight or flight?
7) Where am I at in my ability to take risks?
8) Where am I at regarding my resilience to recover from loss?
9) Where am I at with my desire to create? How well do I manage creative energy, and contribute?
10) How well am I able to honor and care about others?
11) How well do I manage sexual power? Where am I at with my emotional and sexual energy?
(12) Where am I regarding any need to control the dynamics of my physical environment?
13) do I consciously choose to form unions with people who support my development and can I release relationships that handicap my growth?
14) When I feel uncomfortable, do I blame others, or do I ask: "Do I have inferiority or insecurity or inadequacy up?" If so, can I giver myself love encouragement, understanding, and support?
So - these are some great questions to explore to move you forward and shift out of and/or not create dysfunctional patterns and/or relationships. Try it and see what you get, being really honest with yourself - and, if you choose to, then ask to see how to shift that pattern into something better for you.