"I worry a great deal about not being happy in the future"
Hello, my name is Sarah. I came across your website, and hope that you are still around.
I am in a very committed relationship, I am 21, and he is 22 and we have been dating for about 5 1/2 years now. We are complete opposites, and sometimes that bothers me. We have fun together and I love him very much as I know he loves me. I can just see how much he cares for me and he always tells me he loves me etc. However my problem, and big problem at that, is that I constantly worry. I dont know how to deal with this anymore. I am a person who worries about everything, but I feel like thats all ive been doing our entire relationship. But the thing is I worry about things such as the future. I dont have very many happy married couples to look to around me. So I am really scared about being happy later on down the line. My worst fear is to not be happy. I know I have to teach myself to enjoy the present... but its so hard.
Another thing is, it seems when I worry the most, is when I havent seen him for a long time. Then when I see him, he takes all my worries away, and we have a great time together....then i might not see him for a week or so and ill just go back to contemplating our relationship. He knows I feel this way, and hes always telling me dont worry about it, and that he wants nothing but to make me happy. Hes gotten to a point where he doesnt like to talk about the future... because I would constantly ask him questions that dont matter currently. I dont blame him, its not fair to him that im so insecure. I dont want to be. When I start feeling insecure and my worries start rushing through my head... i start to think that im not happy with our relationship. But I love it when im spending time with him, i love hearing him say he loves me, and I hate it when i have to leave to go home.
There are lots of other factors in our relationship, but I cant bear myself when I get in these moods, neither can he. How can I not worry about things that are so far away that they dont matter? Why cant I just enjoy the present and just be so happy and confidant that everything will work out fine. Hes so sure, I am too, but I cant help but look around me at all my family members and his family... and most of them have evolved into two people living in the same house. I dont want that, thats my worst fear. Im scared of it so much that I wont let my present self think of anything else.
OK, first of all, you are like a flower with no soil to grow in - you are cut off from the Source, or Spirit, and you have no roots to the earth. That is why you live in such fear. Fear is not LOVE. There is only one vibration - Love. I invite you to say this 5 times a day for the next 3 years, at a minimum. As part of this, there is a blockage in your neck that you need to clear to allow the energy of the divine to reconnect with you so you can receive it. I'd go to a good chiropractor for that. When you are connected to your Source, and you are bringing that light into your entire body, you live in a state of Love, not fear. You are too serious and you literally need "to lighten up!" Ever heard the expression "angels can fly because they take themselves lightly"? What is also weighing you down and not enabling you "to fly" is holding onto the past. We only hold onto the past to continue in fear and bitterness. Anything we had to learn from a past experience, we've already got, so why hold onto it? So, you learned that you don't want to get stagnant in a relationship. Great. So,consciously recognize and allow yourself to assimilate what you learned. You tend to not recognize or assimilate what you have learned from an experience - the lesson and wisdom you got from it - and instead you just focus on the fear. Focus on what you have learned and received and accomplished, instead, from a place of gratitude. Give thanks for it! Give thanks a lot throughout your day. "I am grateful for ----------"
Practice the exercise of filling yourself up and surrounding yourself with a glowing white light, 3 times a day, from now on. Also, afterwards, send your roots down deep into the Earth, as a great tree would. You need to touch the earth more and be grounded. Go barefoot as much as you can. As you do this, slowly breathe in deeply, do 4 complete breaths, using the yogic breathe of pranayama. To do this, allow your stomach to push out as you inhale. Then bring the air up the front of your body, expanding your chest and going into the heart. Let the heart expand out to both sides, and then as you exhale, release the air first from the heart, send it down the front of the body into the stomach, and allow the stomach to cave in.
As you fill yourself with light, ask that it remove from your being, from this life or any other, down to the cellular level of your being, through all time and space, through all the dimensions and generations, the following issues and energy patterns:
- Feeling Destroyed
- Feeling Threatened
- Feeling Useless
- Low self esteem
You need to embrace all of yourself. Your personality is a bit divided and separated into various parts. To do this, hold your arms out wide, to the sides, as if you are getting ready to embrace someone, and slowly bring them together, saying silently to yourself: "I am all here now", until your hands touch. Then place your right hand over your navel for a few moments. Do this twice a day for the next 3 years.
Also, it would be good for you to say this 3 times a day for the next 2 years:
This is a lot to do. But the results will be worth it. Do what you can.