"I am the person in my family that everyone turns to but can't help myself"
Hi... I am a forty three year old woman, have survived the death of a spouse, remarriage, death of my dad, and in my remarriage learned my husband had been sexually abusing my children. Since have left him took my children who are now all above 18 and tried to move on. Financially I am a mess, my children depend on me for their every need. I have a hard time saying no, I believe it is guilt. I did not know the abuse was taking place, when I found out I immediately left but it haunts me. My children seem not to understand our situation. My mom is alive but she is very demanding, I feel so lost and alone. I can't sleep, I worry constantly about money, bills and just surviving. Please help. When I was 19 I had an abortion - for some reason that seems to be stuck in my mind, no one knows about this. My family would never understand and it is a secret I have lived with. My life is so out of control. I feel I have nowhere to turn. I am the person in my family that everyone turns to for advice. I seem able to help everyone but can't help myself.
Hi - in order for one's life to work out, one needs to be willing to be in Truth on all levels - to see what is True, in other words. Right now, you are only willing to see what is True about 20%, and that is why life is not working out very well for you. So, the issue for you is, what stops you from being willing to be in Truth? What are you really protecting, or hiding from? What's the fear about: if you were in Truth, or saw what is True, what do you think would happen? These questions are extremely important for you to sit with and answer honestly.
An important affirmation for you to say, 3 times a day for 3 months would be:
You need to be able to let go of things in life, but you can only do this if you are clear, and you can only be clear if you are willing to know what is True. I invite you to:
- Read Caroline Myss's book, 'Anatomy of the Spirit', which is a great guide to what is True, and
- Cut the cords that are binding you to any situation in your life that you are still holding onto, especially to your ex-husband. You can read about how to do this in an article listed at the end of the home page called Cutting the Cords that Bind You.
A good product to support you with all of this would be the olive green Aura-Soma pomander, for courage and positive thinking, and the pale peach Sanat Kumara and Lady Venus Kumara quintessence to help you pull it all together. You can order them at firstname.lastname@example.org. You also need to order the #2 equilibrium oil, the Mother Mary essence, for deep peace, and apply it to the body at least twice a day. You can ask the company for directions as to their use.
There is a lot of anger in your space to clear. Are you in touch with that anger? If not, I think you need to be in order to be able to work through it and release it appropriately.
OK - here's a Truth to face: Ready? You are fostering, or creating people being emotionally dependent and demanding upon you because you feel bitter, and this allows the bitterness to continue. It is a self fulfilling prophecy, so to speak. You are creating situations in which you can continue to feel bitter. When you are ready to release the bitterness, and see that you can feel differently, then guess what? Life WILL be different for you. Again - that is being in Truth: YOU are the creator of your life experiences. When you accept that, you take responsibility and you can change things as you choose. You can't change something if you don't allow yourself to see what needs to be changed within yourself, correct? You are oriented more toward feeling like a victim and being self destructive. That is an energy pattern that you need to release. Victims do not heal their lives because at the core of being a victim is a belief that you have no power to do anything. Right? Simply being aware of this, and being willing and ready to release it will begin the process for you.
You can say (again, with a strong emotion accompanying it - one of joy and freedom and how good it feels to take care of yourself):
As you release these patterns, the issue of Family Rejection that is in your energy field will also begin to clear. You tend to be too hasty and indiscriminate with making choices and decisions in your life. Then you feel lost. Learning to slow down, and make decisions from your calm, clear center, is necessary. I invite you to take some meditation classes to discover this place within you and to begin operating from it.
There is some important work that you need to do with your self identity. You are split in many areas of your personality. I invite you to find a good hypnotherapist, or someone who works with guided visualization, and have them work with you to see the various, separated aspects of your personality - you need to bring them all together at a conference table, and have them dialog with one another in order to transform them into a cohesive and integrated wholeness. A good affirmation to say along with this work is this: