"I must do something to prevent my self esteem from going further downhill"
I am a divorcee. Had to leave my husband who is a very vindictive and insecure person. He never had a kind word for me and nothing I did ever seemed right! He made a nervous wreck of me and I have no self esteem. Someone pointed out that perhaps he was jealous of me and that is why he kept on criticizing all that I did and said and even the way I looked. I now realize that I am good looking and have been hiding within myself. Funnily even total strangers would stop by to say something nasty and hurt me. This person says I seem to create some kind of insecurity in people especially those who can make out that I do not know to defend myself. I have been brought up differently with a good set of values. It's now nine years since I left. I realize now that I must do something to prevent myself from going further downhill. I would appreciate your views. Many thanks!
I think it would be good for you to read The Laws of the Universe found on the site, as well as an article on Creating Your Own Reality listed at the end of the home page. They both go into detailed information about the following: People will respond to whatever internal messages you are putting out. We all have thoughts and beliefs, and these thoughts and beliefs have their own energetic wavelengths or frequencies. If you, for instance, have a thought form or belief you are broadcasting out that says, "I am not good enough," then people will pick up on that energetically, as a dog can smell fear or anger on someone, and then barks at them, (we all do this) and they will basically respond to that message. It's as if we all write our own scripts that people read. They can only respond to what our script asks them to do, like an actor playing a part that the director has written for them. So, they then respond accordingly. It's as if, to give you another analogy, you stuck a piece of paper onto your forehead that said: "Criticize me and put me down. That's what I deserve because I know I'm not good enough. I do that to myself, so I expect you to, too." Get it?
You are coming from an old paradigm that taught us that other people can "make us" feel a certain way, or "do things" to us. That isn't true. You are not a victim, but the Creator of your life. Just as no one can come into your dreams at night and "make" you dream something. It's YOUR dream, coming from your subconscious, and EVERYTHING in it is your creation. The same is true of our conscious life. You create people responding to you, or situations happening in a certain way, depending upon what script you have going on inside of you. Life and it's experiences, and the people in your life, are simply mirrors for you - a reflection of what you believe, just as a dream is a reflection of what's going on in your subconscious. That way you have the opportunity to see yourself (by looking in the mirror) and to grow - to change your beliefs and thought forms, or, your inner frequency. When you do, then you are utilizing your True Power, which is to evolve - to change yourself and make conscious choices regarding what frequency you wish to vibrate on - or, in other words, what you will choose to incorporate and radiate out as inner qualities and strengths. Then life will reflect that and show up very differently for you. It's NEVER about another person, place, or thing. It IS all about your own inner landscape of thought forms and beliefs: about choosing consciously - about being AWAKE and AWARE of oneself and what one radiates. It's like this: if someone never looks within in order to take an energetic cleansing shower, to remove false conclusions they've made about themselves and life - they, put crudely, smell bad, and people feel it. On the emotional, mental, and spiritual levels, we need to cleanse ourselves, just as we need to take showers on the physical. We need to remove the emotional misconceptions, or debris, that we have gathered along the way, just as we need to wash off dirt from the physical body.