"I don't understand why my boyfriend keeps talking to his ex"
I never thought I had a problem but i guess I do. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. Things were so great. He made me feel like a goddess. He would always tell me how I was on his mind and how much he loved and cared for me. But now things have changed and I don't understand what he is trying to do. I went to England for three months and when I came back things were fine for a bit but then we would fight about everything. I always catch him lying to me and it hurts me. I caught him talking to his ex girlfriend and yes I was mad and jealous but he said he just want to keep a friendship with her. Then he admitted he still has feelings for her but not as strong as they are for me. He says he doesn't want to lose me but he also doesn't want to hurt me. He promised to stop talking to her but he still talks to her and tells her that he has feelings for. I tried to leave once but when i did he said he made the biggest mistake of his life and loves me with all his heart. To this day though, he continues to talk to knowing it hurts me and denies ever talking to her. What he is doing is hurting me so much. I love him and care for him so much I just wish he would realize what he has right in front of him. What did I do for him to lose the feelings he once had for me? Did he ever even really love me or love me like he says he does.
Hi - please read letter #280, as this applies to you as well.
Loving someone, really loving someone, takes maturity and integrity and commitment. That means being honest and sticking with someone through, as they say, sickness and health, richer or poorer, for better and for worse. Your boyfriend doesn't sound as if he's able to do that kind of thing yet. So, if you value yourself, you don't settle for someone who can't offer you those very, very important qualities and that depth of character and inner strength. Read letter 280, and see how this applies to you - and also think about what has YOU creating being with someone who can't tell you the truth or do what he says he will do. Where in your life do you not tell the truth and do what you say you will do? Where in your life do you not love yourself or value yourself so that then you create situations and people in your life who also will not treat you with love and integrity? All of life is a mirror. It reflects back to us what we, ourselves are doing - what patterns and energy we are carrying around inside of us. Whatever issues, and also good qualities we have going on inside of us will be mirrored back to us in our outer world. Change those negative or dysfunctional patterns in yourself, and you will create having a very different life, and a different - and better - quality of relationship with someone.