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"I falsely accused my boyfriend of lying - now I want him back"

Hello Ayal,

I'm 16 and I've been dating a boy who is 17 yrs old for the past 5 months. We have been off and on since eighth grade and now we're becoming seniors. Every time we break up we would meet months later anywhere and begin to talk again. Well this past time we broke up because I falsely accused him of lying. And after I broke up with him I was thinking did I make the right choice. I've been grounded for almost three months. And we've been having arguments so I ended it. Now he says he'll go back with me when I get off in a few days. We've been broken up for almost a month. And I want him back so badly because I feel he could be the one for me. And he knows if he wants us to be back together but he won't tell me. So what should I do - should I just let him go or should I fight to have him back?


Hi. Well, it sounds to me that it would be great for you to get some knowledge about non-harmful communication. Falsely accusing someone never feels good. Sounds as if there may be some anger on your part to work through as well as learning how to say what you feel in a way that does no harm and does not hurt others. I invite you strongly to read a book called Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. It will help you to create positive, clear relationships in your life, not only with a partner but with everyone you meet.

If you feel that this guy may be the one (although there is a lot of life ahead of you - I'm not sure I'd make that kind of decision at age 16 or 17 - you have a lot of growing and learning and maturing yet to do), then I would think you'd want to learn how to be the kind of partner who offers loving, non-violent communications rather than harmful ones - to him, or anyone else. This can only benefit your life tremendously in all ways. If you can master this at your age, think how wonderful your life will be from now on. Instead of pain and struggle and damage in relationships, you'll be able to create positive, clear, and wonderful experiences between yourself and others.

Blessings, Ayal

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