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"I feel very insecure when my fianc is looking at other women"

Hi Ayal,

Im really insecure, i keep accusing my fianc of all looking at other women and wanting to be with them instead of me etc. I know the insecurity relates back to being bullied but i cant seem to control what i say. I know its hurting him but the thought of him betraying me hurts me too. I know its not his fault and he hasn't given me really any reason to mis trust him apart from dirty mags under his bed (that incidentally makes me very upset). I dont know what to do please help?


He isn't betraying you. That's your own spin you're choosing to put on it. Since you are choosing to perceive what he does as betrayal, that says to me that there are issues up for you regarding that: believing that you will be betrayed. I invite you to read the Laws of the Universe, (work with, after reading the Laws 3 times, I would say - the part on changing core beliefs) and gain an understanding of how we create life from how we choose to view things, from our own perceptions or interpretations of what's going on. What we feel or experience is never about another person place or thing. It's about what beliefs and issues and thought forms we carry around inside of us. We see what happens through our own filters - issues we carry around inside of us that we look at the world through. Someone else without an issue of betrayal could look at what he does and they would not see it that way at all. So it being a betrayal is totally subjective - it's how you are choosing to interpret it that way.

Behind the issue of betrayal will be some pretty strong emotions, perhaps that you are unaware that you have or live from, that need to be recognized and released in an appropriate way - not by putting it off on him, but by releasing it from within yourself, like allowing pus to release from a wound so it can heal.

I also invite you to read other letters and answers from people who wrote in regarding this same issue. I think number 241 would be helpful for you.

Blessings, Ayal

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