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"Should I not have emotional attachment to be happy?"

Hi Ayal,

Read one of your replies to somebody. Impressed. I too seem to be stuck in this emotional relationship zone. I was seeing a girl as a friend for over 2 years who had a serious relationship earlier that broke. While comforting her I felt attraction toward her but couldn't get it through to her. Now she seems to be marrying somebody she has been told to by her parents. She feels good about that guy, and I know I am not going to speak to her about myself. But somehow I am feeling uncomfortable and out of the sorts. Could you bring some biological/psychological point which makes me feel above all these. I feel that I have lost my confidence and I shouldn't have any emotional attachment toward anybody in the word if I wish to be happy. What do you say about that?


Hi - Thanks for the letter. Well, the main thing showing up for you is a need to get going on some creative work. You need very much to get your creativity flowing! You may want to do some traveling to see what turns up for you or just to get into a different state of mind and let yourself be inspired by something.

You are definitely experiencing a lot of loneliness. It is important to connect with and communicate with others, but not from an "I'll take care of you place" but from a place of just loving, from the heart. Often we mistake real loving for taking care of someone. That is a form of being selfless in an unhealthy way. It is important to relate to others, but not because they "need" something from us or we "need" something from them. In that sense you are right about not being emotionally attached - on that level. But it is still important to be connected to others in a healthy way - feeling love and sharing who we are.

Doing some Holotropic Breathwork sessions to release a lot of the constricted feelings that you have going on would be very, very good for you. I'd recommend at least 5, minimum. You need to breathe these constricted feelings out of your body. There are some feelings of anger, and there is also a sense of being destroyed that you need to release. You seem to be basically shy, and you have a fear of success, and a fear of loss. Breathwork will help with these issues.

When you were comforting this person, I think that you took on some of her energy, and you are needing to release it, cut the cords to her, especially in the 2nd chakra area. We take on the energy of others often if we connect to them from that place of need. Read my article Cutting the Cords That Bind You.

You also need to cleanse your space, i.e. yourself, of some energy. To do this, visualize a glowing white light coming down through the top of your head. Send it through your entire body, all the way through the feet, stating that any energy that is not yours is now fully and completely released. Then, send that energy through your feet into the earth. I'd do this 3 times a day for 6 days.

Using the olive green Aura-Soma pomander for courage would be useful. You can order it at

Blessings, Ayal

next 231. "Am I suffering from stress or am I really ill?"

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