"Since my business failed I've been depressed and unhealthy"
I have twitches manly upper arms & chest but can be from neck down, my hands and feet are sweaty. This has been going on for 6 months & I have lost 8kg. From time to time my right arm/ triceps has twitched for as long as I can remember. Mentally & emotionally I'm more balanced than ever. I've seen G.P's & a naturopath and they don't seem to know what it is. In the last three years I've had shingles & the G.P tells me from a blood test that about two years ago I had glandular fever. I've been healthy most my life. To me all this started when my bisness failed, since then I have been depressed & do not know what to do with my self. Career wise last year I had 12 jobs. Last year I had PSH subconscious therapy to release my Emotion state about it. I hope you can steer me in the right direction.
Hi - you are dealing with issues of power and control - twitches have to do with being out of control, or feeling powerless, right? This issue seems to be connected to a past life. Therefore, I suggest that you do a shamanic journey to see what happened in that life to see what this issue is all about, where it originated, etc. At the bottom of this response, I'll include directions on how to do that.
There is an issue up for you of emotional dependency. This issue is tied into the feeling of hate that you have. Something happened where you were powerless or dependent upon someone or something for your survival, or so you thought, and you started hating, and feeling bitter. The answer isn't to hate or to feel victimized. The answer is to connect with the source of your true essence, and to know that you are the Creator of every experience, feeling, and situation in your life. Read the Laws of the Universe to gain a deeper understanding of this. Then, when you do the shamanic journey, you will understand what you created that situation for, and what you learned from it - what the purpose was for having that experience.
As I tuned into you, what came up was that it would be good for you to do some traveling. I think that you are needing to be on your own for a while - to be with yourself, dependent on your own strength and power in order to remember who you really are. This does not mean power in the sense of "power over", or physical power, or arrogance. It means the power of your heart and soul. You are needing to create a new understanding of what power really is. To do this, you need to do some soul searching into these issues, to journey and explore your shadow side, the part of you that you have not yet allowed the light into, in order to transform the beliefs that don't come from love, and then meet the world with courage, strength, and vigor - the kind of strength that comes from a loving heart. You speak of strength only as physical. That isn't the essence of real strength. When you understand what real strength of character is, you will be well on your way.
I think that afterwards, you will know more who you are, and therefore decide on a career path that truly fits you and can offer what you love into the world. You are needing to develop faith and inspiration. This is a 7th chakra issue - the spiritual center, or crown chakra. Both that chakra and your 5th chakra, the throat chakra, where you speak your truth and creativity, where you send this out into the world (it must be connected to your heart to do this) needs some attention and healing. The 5th chakra also deals with the capacity to make decisions. This makes sense if you have an issue of emotional dependency going on, and therefore the need to be on your own and make your own decisions. From the place of a clear and loving heart. There is a big need to develop tolerance.
The issue of emotional dependency is a 3rd chakra issue. I invite you to read Caroline Myss's book Anatomy of the Spirit, and read about the chakras to see what jumps out at you. It's a fascinating book, and it will help you to heal. I think you'll enjoy it.
Some things that can help to support you in your healing journey:
1. The emerald green aura soma pomander for finding our own space and going to the "heart" of things. Look up Aura-Soma on the net to order it and the one below.
2. The St. Germain pale violet Aura-Soma quintessence, which helps to transform negative energies into positive ones.
3. A flower essence, made from the California Pitcher Plant, for imbalances in relating to the instinctual aspects of oneself; transforming animal-like instinctual forces into what is truly human. Take 5 drops under the tongue3 times a day for 6 months. You can order that from the Flower Essence Society. Phone number is (530) 265-9163.
4. Shamanic Power Animal Journey:
Here is the information on finding your power animal. You will need a tapeplayer and a tape of drumming that is especially made for shamanic journeys. This can be ordered from The Foundation for Shamanic Studies. The tape ought to be at least an hour long. If it isn't, re-copy it twice onto another tape to make it longer. When it is time to return from your journey, the drumming will speed up, so only have that speeded up part re-copied at the very end of the tape. If it is still light outside when you do this journey, you may want to put a cloth over your eyes to make it darker. Also, some people like to use headsets to listen to the drumming.
Get comfortable in a quiet place where you won't be disturbed for at least 40 minutes. Light a candle, and then do some slow, deep breathing to fully relax. As with doing any sacred ceremony, you may want to set up a protection around yourself and state an intention that only that energy which is your true Spirit of Unconditional Love and Life Force energy be with you and given to you. It would be good also to set up a cocoon of white light around yourself before you begin which puts this in place also. You can ask for guidance and protection from Great Spirit, the Creator, God, etc. That way you are very clear what your intention is and what you will only allow into your space. Lighting white candles is a good idea as they represent light and purity.
When you are fully relaxed, imagine that you are walking along a path that leads to a special place that you have actually seen before, a place that leads into the earth. This can be a cave, a hole in the ground, a hole in a tree, a rock overhang, etc. As you imagine walking along this path, use your imaginary senses to really be there - smell the air, feel the ground underneath your feet, notice the colors and sounds around you, feel the air against your skin. Take it all in. When you get to that place which leads into the earth, which is for you alone and no one else, enter into it, again using all your senses to explore the area for a bit. Feel if the walls are smooth or rough, wet or dry - if the air is cooler, etc.
Then, you will notice that there is a long tunnel leading down into the earth from this entranceway. Follow it down deeper and deeper into the earth. Allow the journey to take you as it will. Release any need to control it. Let happens what happens and just stay present with the experience. While you follow this tunnel deeper into the earth, hold in your mind and heart the intention that this journey is for you to connect to your power animal, your medicine ally. That is what you are there for. Eventually, you will notice that the tunnel ends at another entranceway. This entranceway leads you into the world of the Animal Spirits. This world is consists only of a world of nature. Natural landscapes are everywhere. There are animals everywhere - in the trees, grasses, by the rivers, on the mountains, etc. Notice what it looks like, what the landscape is like where you have arrived into this world. Leave the tunnel and begin to walk out into this world. Again, use all your senses as you explore this world. Notice what time of day or night it is, what's around you, the sounds and colors, the smells, the feeling of the air against your skin, how the earth feels under your feet, etc. Walk in this world taking it all in, holding your intention to meet your medicine ally, until an animal approaches you. When it does, ask it if it is your power animal. If it says yes, you may then journey on with it, learning about it, sharing with it, bonding with it, and asking for any help or guidance or answers you may need. If it says no, it is not your ally, continue walking until you meet the right one.
Ask your power animal to show you what happened in that past life, and to help you resolve and heal the issues - to learn how to come ffrom the power of your Spirit, the power of Love. When it is time to leave this spirit world, ask your power animal for a gift, and give it a gift in return. Ask how you can call upon it when you need to, and ask also if you need to keep what it is and what it shares with you private. When it is time to go, say goodbye, and thank you.
Then, return to the tunnel and walk back up out of the passageway until you return to the entrance where you entered into the earth. Walk back along your path, and return to the room where you are visioning from. Take some time to fully come back into your body, bringing ALL of yourself back, filling up all of your body with yourself, all the way to finger tips and toes and eyelashes. If you choose to, you can write in a journal about what you learned and what guidance you were given. Take some time to integrate this experience. Don't go out into the world too fast or try to do too much afterwards. Drink water, and remember to blow out the candles!