"All I think about is how I need to lose weight"
Over the past three years, I've gained about 30 pounds and I don't know why. I used to be quite obsessive about exercising (running, weight training). I think the overkill may be the reason I can't seem to bring myself to do much of anything in the way of exercise now. I have tried several cleansing programs - colon, liver, kidneys - and I do great for a couple of weeks, then slip right back into my old patterns. I sometimes wonder if this is happening as a means to help me get to the point where I will love myself unconditionally. The problem is, all I think about is how I need to lose weight. Is there something physically wrong with me?
Hi - this is an issue about your not feeling safe in your family - it's about not feeling safe in the group, and it has to do with feeling judged. Weight gain is usually a protection, a barrier we put on or up when we feel unsafe. So, this is a first chakra issue, about tribal support or lack of it and how to find your own sense of yourself and establish your own strength, feeling good about yourself, and self support despite what the group may do.
So, if there is a lot of judging going on in your family, putting on weight would be one way to try to barricade yourself from it. But you can shift it on other levels more consciously if you choose. It would be good for you to do some work with a healing technique that you can look up on the Net for practitioners near you at adhumanitas.com/pages/CFDoldstudents.html. Also, the pale gold Aura-Soma quintessence called Lady Portia would be good for you to use. It deals with "Judge not, least ye be judged" sort of thing, and it brings mercy and compassion for ourselves. Brings us back into balance.
Also, very importantly, read about the first, second, and third chakras in Caroline Myss's book, Anatomy of the Spirit, and also read about judgment in the Laws of the Universe. Work with shifting any core beliefs you may have about judging from the formula set up in the Laws of the Universe. judgment is all about living from fear. Fear of being judged by others is actually you judging yourself. Check into where you judge yourself and what has you doing that. So, see what your fears are about - then you will see what has you creating people judging you in your life. If you release judgment from your own life, from inside you, it will not then exist in your world and therefore can not be reflected back to you from anything external in your life.