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Copywriting Makeover: Know Where Your Customers Are In The Buying Process Part 2 of 2

by Karon Thackston - 2004

In part one of this article series, I introduced a client of mine (AEwebworks) who suffered from some copywriting traumas. The basic diagnosis was a lack of synergy within the copy, ineffective use of testimonials, a lack of focus on the target customer's buying process, and the inability of the current copy to support the search engine goals of AEwebworks.

After doing some research, I created a plan of action for writing SEO copy that would impress the engines AND AEwebworks visitors. You can view the original copy in PDF format here:

The Rewrite

After finding the revelation that most of those who were shopping for online dating software were already familiar with the features (and the associated benefits) of the software, I decided that focusing on those elements would simply make AEwebworks sound like every other developer of dating scripts. That would definitely not get the results I was looking for.

My probing uncovered that almost all dating software customers have three primary concerns: installation, upgrade policies, and support. It just so happened that AEwebworks had phenomenal offers for each of these.

The headline was changed from:

"Get into Internet dating business with reliable, effective and profitable online dating software"


"Customizable, Full Featured Dating Software Complete With Free Installation, Lifetime Upgrades & Outstanding Support"

The new headline highlighted three extremely valuable benefits to the visitor and also included one of the chosen keyphrases.

The body copy began by making an emotional connection with the customer. It recognized the frustration the customer faced when trying to choose between the different dating software programs and dating scripts.

The copy then continued to connect by stating the fact that AEwebworks developed their software with the help of their clients by listening to their complaints, needs, and wants. It also merged quickly into a section that offered firm, proven solutions to the dating site owners most pressing problems.

As the customers continued to read, they found out about specific benefits of buying software from AEwebworks as opposed to other developers. And - of course - scattered throughout the page were links to the ordering section of the site.

In addition to the emotional connection and the problem solving aspects of the copy, it was also search engine optimized (SEO). You'll notice the subtle use of keyphrases throughout the copy. Enough to promote good search engine rankings, but not so much that the copy is "stiff or "forced."

Every other word is *not* a keyword. The copy has a natural flow to it, but yet it is fully optimized to do its job where rankings are concerned.

You can view the current copy here:

The Results

I always find it best to let the client handle this part of the article. To quote, "I wanted to tell you the good news! It looks like our rankings are improving. We are back in Google and traffic has doubled. We have record high sales for the last two weeks... about 70% higher than our next best-selling two-week period ever!

"Overall, running our site got much easier after adding your copy because people ask fewer questions about where to find information... they are able to sort it out for themselves from the site copy. We previously had about 5-10 e-mails a day on average from prospective customers; now we get AT LEAST 15 A DAY! WOW!! So, in short, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR GREAT WORK!"

They are now back in play on Google and also have exceptional rankings with other important engines like Yahoo, MSN, and AltaVista.

Another happy ending!

About the Author

Copy not getting results? Learn to write SEO copy that impresses the engines and your visitors at Be sure to check out Karon's latest e-report "How To Increase Keyword Saturation (Without Destroying the Flow of Your Copy) at

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