Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library


The Alchemy of Real Romance

When you connect with and experience your own feelings while, at the same time, taking in the feelings of the one you love, you are walking straight into the open heartspace of real romance, into the special connections you make with one another, whether small and subtle or grand and brilliant.

The following story from our own courtship reveals much about the fear we all have of being truly intimate and surrendering to love. It also tells of the real romance that's available whenever you open yourself and let someone in -- even when limited by your own fears and resistance.

Jim: After we'd known each other little more than a month, we decided to spend Easter day in Laguna Beach. Judith drove. During the hour-long drive, I turned to her and said, "I'd like to know how you feel about me."

Judith: I was taken back. And excited. After all, I was the psychologist and the female, I was supposed to be the one who was more emotionally skilled. Yet it was Jim who was taking this dive into deeper emotional waters.

I wanted to give him an honest answer, but I wasn't ready to reveal too much. So, I said, "Well, I think the best way to say it is that I'm starting to find fault with you." What I meant was that the intimacy between us had developed to a point I was uncomfortable with, and it frightened me. But, instead of living with my fear, I slipped back into an old pattern of fault-finding as a way of keeping the intimacy at a comfortable distance.

Jim: After giving some thought to her remark I said, "If I hear you correctly, I should take that as a compliment." I felt what she was doing and knew it had nothing to do with faults and everything to do with intimacy.

She was impressed. "Yes," she replied, with a shy, embarrassed smile. "You should."

That's one of the most cherished moments of our early relationship. Yet, it's not difficult to imagine what a disaster it could have been.

To fully receive the love you desire, don't act out some fiction of how you think it's supposed to be. If you do you'll just be swept away by the fake drama of your imaginings, and you'll lose any possibility for real intimacy. The heart and soul of real romance is all about being honest in the moment. Express yourself as well as you possibly can, with respect and appreciation for your limitations and excellence and the imperfection and grace of being human.

Real romance is an example of practical spirituality. You don't have to leap beyond this life to get what you want. Quite the contrary. You can have it by standing squarely at the center of who and what you are, with respect and pride, power and humility, personal authority and the wisdom to know that you are a living daily testament to the complexity, fullness and sacredness of life.

When we value life on earth and celebrate love on earth, the full breadth of who we are becomes conscious, and we are able to lovingly connect with one another.

When you feel accepted for who you actually are -- for who you know yourself to be -- you feel at home. You are alive, not as an instrument or a prop to be manipulated for pleasure or pain, but as a sacred expression of life, unique only to you.

(Excerpted from The New Intimacy, Health Communications Inc.)

About the author:

Husband-and-wife psychology team an bestselling authors Judith Sherven, and Jim Sniechowski, have created an approach that shows couples how to reap the richest rewards from the differences between them -- all those differences that are a natural part of every relationship. To discover their secrets of life-long romance, be sure to get your copy of their Free 1 hour teleseminar "Keeping Romance Alive" Just go to: http://www.judithandjim.com


AND EXPLORE...

Addictions
Astrology
Careers & Employment
Communication
Creativity
Dating
Depression
Diabetes
Diets
Divorce
Education
Environment
Ethics
Exercise
Family
Goal-Setting
Grief & Loss
Happiness
Health
Kids & Teens
Leadership
Love
Marriage
Meditation
Nutrition
Organizing
Parenting
Psychology
Public Speaking
Relationships
Schools
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Spirituality
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure
Women
Writing


From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd