Trans4mind Home Page
~ A Journey of Self-Discovery ~

Explore Article Library


Top 10 Tips for Phenomenal Sex

By Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.

You have permission to publish this article electronically free of charge, providing the entire by line at then end of the article is included and the content is left unchanged. If you use it, please notify me with a copy of your publication or a url to where it can be found. For print publications, please contact me to discuss and to obtain US mailing address to send a courtesy copy. cynthiap@frognet.net

Top Ten Tips For Phenomenal Sex
by Cynthia Perkins

1. Communicate
Communication with your lover is "the most important factor for not only a satisfying sexual relationship but for a relationship in general. If you do not communicate with your partner you can't be satisfied. Many people falsely believe that their lover can read their mind or that they should instinctively know how to please them. This is a very destructive belief for not only the sex, but also the relationship as a whole. Speak openly, directly and honestly. Be specific. Tell your partner where, when and how to touch you. Describe how much pressure, how much speed and the timing you need. Tell them what, when and how to say what you need to hear etc. Let them know when it feels good and when it doesn't. Good communication involves the expression of feelings. Discuss your feelings, needs, desires, fears, embarrassments, expectations in and out of the bedroom in regard to all aspects of the relationship. Good communication will increase intimacy and greater intimacy will lead to greater sex.

2. Be an Unselfish Lover
Be a selfless lover (meaning your goal is your pure desire to give your partner the pleasure they desire.) Don't take each other for granted, which is easy to do if you have been together for a while and will kill your passion. Don't pleasure your lover according to what feels good for you, give them what you know they enjoy. Always tend to your partners needs as well as your own and you will be considered a good lover. Spend one lovemaking session devoted entirely to your lover. Make them feel special and cherished. Express your love and appreciation freely and frequently outside of the bedroom as well as inside the bedroom. Don't assume your lover knows how you feel. It needs to be verbalized. Say I love you or you are so beautiful, or you feel so good. Everyone wants to feel loved, valued and appreciated. Remember that what occurs outside the bedroom greatly impacts what will occur in the bed.

3. Seek Variety
As the saying goes "Variety is the spice of Life", and boredom is one of the main causes of unfaithfulness. If you keep a lot of variety in your positions and activities, you will never be bored. There are numerous books and videos that can give you new suggestions or be creative and use your imagination. Try having sex in different places of the house or in a bathroom at the gas station, restaurant or some other place that is very exciting for you where you won't get caught. Take a shower with your lover and use your hands as the washrag. Soap them up and explore every inch, nook and cranny of their body. Savor them as if they were a fine a wine. This will elicit erotic, sensual, spiritual and physical energy in both of you and will also serve as a tool to help you learn invaluable information about one another's bodies. Get naked outside and make wild passionate love. I don't believe there is anything more freeing, arousing and spiritual than being naked outside and to make love with the feel of the elements upon your body. It gets you in touch with the primal basics and elicits uninhibited passions. Do things that are unique for you as a couple and you can keep the variety and spice while remaining a monogamous couple. Change your routine.

4. Be Spontaneous and Adventurous
Surprise your lover with something unusual and kinky. Yes Kinky! Be outrageous and adventurous. Show up at their work for lunch naked under your coat and flash them. Send them an invitation to a hotel for a hot night of sex. Role play one of your fantasies. Tell them you must have them at some unusual spot and take them passionately. Women, try not wearing your panties and bra and go through your daily activities. Not having a bra and panties on is very stimulating and will make you feel very sexy and erotic. Tell your partner that you aren't wearing any and you will drive them absolutely wild with the thought of it.

5. Be Present in the Here and Now.
Fully experience each touch, sensation, smell, movement, sound and taste while you are making love. Don't allow your mind to slip into thoughts about work, children or fixing dinner etc. Stay completely focused on your partner and your experience. Allow yourself to become totally immersed in the pleasurable sensations you are giving and receiving.

6. Know Your Own Body and Desires
If you don't know what excites you and pleases you, then your lover can't either. Explore your own body and discover what you like and don't like. Find out what arouses you and makes you roar. Make love with yourself. You can really drive your lover wild by allowing them to watch you pleasure yourself.

7. Make Sex a Priority
Relationships are the most important aspect of our lives and sex is a crucial component of your intimate relationship. Make time for lovemaking. Don't push it off. It should be one of the biggest priorities in your life. When sex is pushed aside desire and passion will dwindle. The more you engage in sex the more your desire will grow.

8. Pursue Your Lover with Unbridled Passion
It is a great aphrodisiac for both female and male to see and feel desire and passion in their lover's eyes and actions. Let your lover know how deeply you want them. Tear their clothes off and take them passionately. Let them hear you delight in them. When making love, tell them how much you enjoy their body or how good they feel to you. Let loose with total abandon.

9. Know Your Partner's Hot Zones
Taking the time to learn what makes your lovers motor run is one of the most important ingredients for great sex. You can never know your lover too much. Pay attention to when and what your lover responds to and learn what they need. Store it in your mind and be sure to use it frequently. When your lover is pleasured and satisfied then they want to reciprocate and please you even more, and thus sexual satisfaction is heightened for both partners. When you know how to please your lover, their desire for you increases and they will want sex more often. Knowing your partner and making a point to please them is an act of love; it shows them they are important to you and that you care about their needs. You should know your lovers love buttons like the back of your hand.

10. Be an Oral Connoisseur
Being a skilled oral lover is a very important component of a couple's sexual relationship for both the male and the female. There are few things more pleasurable for either man or woman than to be savored, devoured and satisfied orally by their lover. It is one of the most intimate gifts we can give one another. Pleasuring your lover orally has become an integral part of lovemaking. One of the great aspects of oral sex is that it can be a part of foreplay or the main course and there are so many ways to explore it. Giving oral pleasure to your lover is an ultimate act of unselfishness, giving, caring and loving.

Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., is a sex advisor/educator and writer specializing in sexual intimacy and keeping the fire alive. She is also author of the hot new sex guide for couples titled, "Smoldering Embers-Hot Erotic Stories and Sex Tips to Light a Couple's Fire. Services, Books and a FREE Monthly EZine can be found at her website. http://www.smolderingembers.com/


AND EXPLORE...

Addictions
Astrology
Careers & Employment
Communication
Creativity
Dating
Depression
Diabetes
Diets
Divorce
Education
Environment
Ethics
Exercise
Family
Goal-Setting
Grief & Loss
Happiness
Health
Kids & Teens
Leadership
Love
Marriage
Meditation
Nutrition
Organizing
Parenting
Psychology
Public Speaking
Relationships
Schools
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Spirituality
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure
Women
Writing


From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Want to renew your life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development...
Start off with a Free Life Assessment and a Free Consultation...
 

Have a question about Trans4mind Training?

Frequently Asked Questions
What Are Our Fees?
Email Peter Shepherd

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

Welcome to the New Wave in Meditation Technology

Click here to learn more about the iAwake Profound Meditation Program
The iAwake Profound Meditation Program
is a way of enhancing your meditation practice, making meditation not only easier and more enjoyable, but also more efficient and effective.
Profound Meditation provides the smoothest, deepest, richest, most profound meditation experience available anywhere...
Here is a link to a free 20-minute track from iAwake Technologies - a sample of the type of tools that will deepen your meditation immediately and help you quickly become a successful meditator. It's the opening track of iAwake's flagship product, the Profound Meditation Program, called the iAwake Experience...
Learn More and Download the iAwake Experience
We think you'll find this technology a tremendous aid on your transformative journey of becoming your best and most creative self - and you can get started today!
And here's a fantastic resource for self-education...

The World of Inspiration eLibrary

World of Inspiration
A treasure trove of personal development wisdom

Step inside. Just like a real library, there are thousands of quality eBooks presented on three "floors" and in different "rooms." To purchase your $15 Lifetime Membership to the World of Inspiration eLibrary, click the following button:

Payment is made through our secure transaction agent, PayPal.
The transaction is in the language and currency of your choice.
"I want to just say 'WOW!' This collection is probably the best money I ever spent! I've already received many times over in personal enrichment after just 9 days. I've had a past metaphysical background, but even newcomers to this material will really benefit. Thanks again." ~ J.S. (Pennsylvania, USA)
"The collection is everything which you promised. And more! A superb contribution to the good of the world. Many thanks indeed." ~ R.P. (Georgia, USA)
"Just a short note of thanks for the library. I've only had membership for several days now but I already feel this is perhaps the most interesting compilation I have yet seen. Worth far more than the price of admission. The browser linked structure works well and makes it easy to manage such a large storehouse of information. It is rarely that I find something I like as much as this or that I feel strongly enough to write a note like this." ~ P.W. (Minnesota, USA)
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd