Trans4mind Home Page
Free Life Assessment Results

Discover Yourself!

Trans4mind has developed a very helpful Life Assessment tool that you can use, freely and confidentially. Sign up now (with no obligation) and get to discover the key challenges you face and the most effective ways to transform your life for the better...
 

Explore Article Library


Three Amigos

By Wayne and Tamara

Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 23, 2004

I feel rather foolish writing this letter, but I need help. I am a 67-year-old man living on social security. My wife and I divorced, but I never lost my love for her. One day we ran into each other and realized the magic is still there.

I did not hesitate to go back to her. She told me, however, she was dating a widowed doctor, and because she is unable to find employment, he is giving her a $500 weekly allowance. They see each other every Saturday evening. He takes her out to dinner, then they return to his home.

They have a sexual relationship, though she doesn't love him. She feels compelled to sleep with him because of the help he gives her. I asked if she loved me. She said without question she still did. I've been back four months now, and I want her to find employment and break off this relationship.

She's tried to get employment but failed. I asked, if nothing else, please give me some idea when you will end this affair. She said she couldn't do that. I asked how she could love me and do what she is doing. She couldn't reply.

As I write this on Saturday evening, she is out with him for dinner and the sexual romp which follows.

Wyatt

Wyatt, your ex-wife has found a way of blending the world's two oldest professions, medicine and prostitution. This "affair" is her employment, and you have no power here. You can't give her a job, you are not supporting her, and you are not her husband. In addition, your emotional support may make it easier for her to do what she does.

Now that you live together, you are benefiting from what she does. Perhaps circumstances led her into this. Perhaps time will change it. But the only power you have is to accept or not accept the situation. The second definition of her act is "devoting one's talents to an unworthy use." Until she believes that, things will continue as they are.

Wayne & Tamara

A Matter Of Degree

I'm a stay-at-home dad, married with two children. Although things haven't always been great in our marriage, we've worked through them and been mostly happy. Recently a friend introduced me to online chatting. Over the past few months I've chatted with several people, male and female, and had personal chats with a few women in a flirting way.

The women don't live anywhere near, and there was never a chance of this going further. I view my actions as harmless fantasy. My wife recently found out, and she feels I have been unfaithful. She is considering leaving me. The children are the only reason she hasn't.

I agree it was wrong not to have told her, but I consider it harmless fun for my own enjoyment and think of it as my little white lie. I don't agree I have been unfaithful. She says we have different lines of what constitutes decency, and I have clearly crossed over hers. She is well-educated, a Christian, and a physician by trade.

Henry

Henry, your wife is hurt. Chatting with other women makes her feel less of a woman. She feels you are being intimate with these other women. As a medical person, she knows symptoms not dealt with only get worse.

Pictures in a magazine are a fantasy, but it is not fantasy when you interact with real people. Calling what you did a white lie indicates you know it was wrong.

You need to find something else to occupy your mind. We suggest using your computer to start a home-based business. You've been out of the workforce for awhile and that may make it hard to find a job. Once your wife feels a nanny would cause her fewer problems, you may need a way to support yourself.

Wayne & Tamara

About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.



From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 

View all the Hypnosis Downloads here

Copyright © 1997-2017 Trans4mind Ltd