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Define Me

By Neil Millar

We"ve all had a vision or a great idea and had someone who knows better squash it.

We"ve all decided to clear our debts, but been tempted by the next great offer.

We"ve all been determined to save up for a holiday or some other thing that will enhance our lives and then been clobbered by a bill that sets us back a month or few.

We"ve all affirmed a diet in one moment and been offered chocolate in the next.

We"ve all ran a mile from heartache and nightmare, as well as from our dreams or love affairs and we"ve all laughed when we should have cried, cried when we could have laughed and ran ourselves into a downward spiralling place.

We"ve all judged ourselves too harshly: beaten ourselves up for what we're not, what we don't have and what we believe we can never be. But let's not do that.

Let's resolve not to define ourselves by our weakest moments.

Let's resolve not to make harsh judgments on ourselves for our failings.

Should we really give ourselves a hard time - slaughter ourselves for trying, but not achieving?

The answer to this my friend is no.

Some moments in life are all about just showing up, or taking part. Some moments are about just hanging on, gripping onto what you have and hoping the pain passes. Its moments like these that humble us - make us realise that maybe something else in our life had greater importance than our work, or the gadgets we crave or the TV soap operas that hook us.

But pause a moment, right here, right now and just mull over your last action today - not the result: the winning or the losing - but the action itself, of taking part or not - and if you did define yourself by your last action, what have you just been? Who have you just been?

And if you did define yourself by all of the actions you took today - not the results: the winning or losing - but the action itself, of taking part or not - what have you become this day?

I tell you this though

It's not all about right now, or even today. It's not even about looking at what you have done and understanding it better. But a life full of purpose is a life full of making better choices - choices from your highest place: your highest standards, your highest beliefs and your highest dreams.

Have you and I really come to this day in our life as all we can be?

Have we come to this point in our lives - through all our toils, troubles and experiences - to be without a vision and be financially broke? Have we come to this day to be fat or sick or too feeble minded to stand up for our beliefs, our dreams and our hopes? Have we come to this day to not show the people around us we love them?

Here my friend is what defines us:

In every thought we make a statement. In that statement we define our current belief. In every belief about our current situation we build our history and ultimately that history comes to this point

To do or to die.

Take a look at nature. It is either growing or dying: every tree, every blade of grass, every insect, every animal and every human being is the same - growing or dying.

If you find yourself habitually saying:

I don't have the confidence instead of saying, I'll try,

I can't afford that, instead of saying, I'll find a way,

I don't have the time, instead of turning off the telly, or

Diets don't work instead of finding one that does

Where are you heading?

Life without purpose is just misery and muddle. Promise yourself to make your life purposeful!

Don't just live it. Mean it!

What will you do improve in your life?

About The Author
Copyright 2005 Neil Millar

Novelist and personal development writer, Neil Millar wants you to join his free newsletter at Unstoppable Life and get his free e-book Greater Steps to Happiness. Join for fr>ee at


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