Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library


A New Perspective on Self Esteem

By Eddie Beverage

Fortunes have been made by so-called self help gurus on the topic of self esteem. Hundreds of books have been written and countless others touch on the subject in way or another. I have to admit, I haven't read any of them. Every thing I've ever learned about self esteem was through my own process of discovery and examination, and it started when I was very young.

When I was a child, my mother read to me every night. My favorite was always Dr. Seuss; it didn't occur to me until decades later what made him so special. Theodore Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) reveled in the abstract. Possessing a curious, active imagination, I was instinctively drawn to Geisel's wild characters and escapist worlds. Unlike Geisel, many authors of children's books choose instead to tell stories of this world, or at least their versions of it. They intend harmlessly enough to teach values and lessons, but sometimes they do more harm than good.

For example, how many children's books introduce young minds to the idea of career selection before they're old enough to ride a bike? The question commonly raised is, "What do you want to be when you grow up? A fireman? A banker? This instills in a child's mind at an early age that their value in society is directly tied to what they want to be when they grow up. Of course, it's not only children's books that take this approach. Parents and teachers are just as guilty. So are we allowing our children enough space to just be themselves?

Perhaps dad places a heavy emphasis on athleticism but his son has no athletic ability and besides that, no interest. Son wants to play the guitar and write songs for a living. Is it a father's right to stifle that desire? Who decides which is more important? Is it time to reevaluate the old adage, "Father knows best? The more space a child is given to assign his/her own value to the various building blocks of self, the greater the chance that a strong, healthy self image will take shape. A parent's role is to facilitate this discovery with loving kindness, not dictate the terms and steer the ship.

The classic case studies of individuals with self esteem problems often paint a picture of someone who's consistently told "you're not good enough or "you're smart enough." Many have suffered not only demoralizing verbal abuse, but physical and sexual abuse as well. Still, as prevalent as these scenarios are and not to minimalize them by any means, I would argue that the roots of many self esteem issues are far less insidious and affect all of us in one way or another.

Self esteem issues are found in the twenty-something executive who went to college to please his parents and now plays salesman during the day and paints at night. Or the devoutly religious who deny themselves earthly pleasures in the name of dogma and guilt. Or the teenager raised on MTV's version of how to be a rock star, win friends and influence people. The problem lies in our social sonar, the signals we send out to the world around us for feedback on where we stand on the food chain. We live in an "on demand world now and expect fast, convenient snapshots of who we are rendered at 300 pixels per inch. Unfortunately, these pictures are blurred and skewed by other people's shortcomings and value judgments, and by media and advertising with their slick ploys to squeeze us into their narrow demographics.

Eastern religions have recognized this problem for centuries and addressed it through the doctrine of negation of self and ego. So shall we eliminate all outside influences by removing ourselves to nature and destroy the self? I'm not advocating such a radical step. On the contrary, I believe a sense of self is important. The concern is that ours is too often built like a house of cards, nothing more than a series of illusions stacked precariously on top of one another. A strong self image can only be built on a foundation of truth to our own inner nature.

The philosopher J. Krishnamurti said, "You will see how absurd is the whole structure that you have built, looking for external help, depending on others for your comfort, for your happiness, for your strength. These can only be found within yourselves."

So meditate often on the things you love. Journey inside yourself with no fear of what you might find there. Good and evil exist side by side in every one of us, so resist the temptation to judge yourself. Embrace your contradictions"they become you. And remember that no one's opinion of you means more than your own. A book can't and shouldn't touch you self-esteem. It comes from within, not from without.

About The Author

Author Eddie Beverage operates a web site for friends and family of the chronically ill at http://www.healingcarepackages.com. His new novel, "Tom Brown Saves the World," is now available at independent bookstores everywhere.


AND EXPLORE...

Addictions
Astrology
Careers & Employment
Communication
Creativity
Dating
Depression
Diabetes
Diets
Divorce
Education
Environment
Ethics
Exercise
Family
Goal-Setting
Grief & Loss
Happiness
Health
Kids & Teens
Leadership
Love
Marriage
Meditation
Nutrition
Organizing
Parenting
Psychology
Public Speaking
Relationships
Schools
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Spirituality
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure
Women
Writing


From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
 
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd