Trans4mind Home Page
~ Making the Human Heart Visible ~

Looking for a better life?

Our online, interactive video workshops present the most effective methods of holistic personal development, combined with personal support from expert life coaches.

Explore Article Library

Confidence is Cool

By Oscar Bruce

REMEMBER THE TIME you could not think of anything to say to the person sitting across from you in that little caf or across the conference table? You stammered when they looked your way. They smiled at you, but still, there was no way you could reach out...and you lost yet another chance to make a good contact.

REMEMBER THAT PARTY, when you were standing off to one side by yourself, and the other people were stealing brief glances at you? Still, you couldn't think of the right things to say.

REMEMBER LEAVING THAT MEETING? Just ahead of you was the person you really wanted to meet and get to know. You could not quite summon up the courage to approach. They walked away into the night and out of your life.

BY FAR THE MOST TERRIFYING BARRIER to developing relationships with strangers is learning to talk to them at the first meeting. Making first contact is sometimes fearful. Even thinking of approaching a new person makes you break out in a cold sweat.

YOU CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE? How did things get like this, you wonder? It is because family and peer groups ripped from you at an early age the innocent social adeptness of the young. The bullying and being "cut down to size" that passes for socialization scarred your psyche. The fearful result is that you are not just shy, but gun shy. But, all that can change. It can be accomplished.

CAN THIS REALLY ALL BE CHANGED, YOU ASK? The answer is - absolutely yes. The need to grow is instinctive in the human spirit. Additionally, self-improvement is proven to be not only confidence building, but therapeutic. In fact, failure to do so creates distress and several forms of neuroses.

What radical transformation, then, would it take to reshape a shy person into an extroverted, socially adept one? Where can you learn to meet and greet any and all encounters skillfully and with confidence?

First, realize that advanced language skills are but subtle elaborations or enhancement of what we already know and do, yet of a somewhat higher order. Additional examples include listening, picking up on nonverbal cues, and having a sense of the other individual's personal space. Finally, the high-arts: being able to start a conversation with a total stranger, knowing when to wait and when to act.

IT IS OUR NATURE as human beings to seek affiliation, to make friends. But sometimes it can be hard for a person to reach out and create conversation. Most people want to like, want to love, want to connect, but they are afraid. Things get in the way of their innate desire; things like FEAR OF REJECTION or uncertainty about WHAT TO SAY FIRST.

The start of a great relationships begins with "a great opening line." It is knowing what to say first and how to sustain the conversation that gets attention and BUILDS CONFIDENCE.

TRUE AND LASTING PERSONAL CONFIDENCE flows from the knowledge and certainty that you will function skillfully and convincingly while at ease, in all social or business encounters. What helps shapes your fate is your ability to stand your ground in any confrontation - the knowledge that you will always prevail.

Self-confidence will also grow as you depend less on fortuitous happenstance, on wishing and hoping - and realize that you can make your choices and actions a consequence of clarity of purpose. You will become a stronger person as you see yourself acquiring and applying new language skills.

Total confidence is primarily rooted in possessing the verbal skills of capturing control of conversations and confrontations. It is simply a matter of knowing what to say and exactly how to say it to get the desired results. This is what the Oscar Bruce publications will put into your life.

About The Author

Oscar Bruce

For more (FREE) specific tips that will make your personal And professional communications more effective visit

Article Autoresponder:

Author Contact Email:

TERMS OF REPRINT - Publication Rules

The requirements for publishing this article are:

  • You May Not change the content of the article, except for minor corrections for layout, typos or grammar.

  • You May Not use this article in UCE (Unsolicited Commercial Email). Email distribution of this article MUST be opt-in email only.

  • If you post this article on a website, you MUST set any URL's or email addresses in the body of the article or in the Author's Resource Box as hyperlinks (clickable links).

  • Please, if possible, forward a copy of the ezine or newsletter in which you published the article, or if on a webpage, the link to the article, to the author.


Careers & Employment
Grief & Loss
Kids & Teens
Public Speaking
Self Help
Self Improvement & Motivation
Sexual Relations
Stress Management
Travel and Leisure

From our extensive site, you'll find good info on many topics using this search:

Support your personal development with these popular and effective hypnosis downloads...

  • Public Speaking Fear ~ Banish speaking anxiety and nerves with hypnosis.
  • Motivate Yourself to Exercise ~ Build a powerful exercise habit that you can't break.
  • Get Rid of Fear & Anxiety ~ Stop worry and apprehension wrecking your life.
  • Self Esteem ~ Break the negative trance of low self esteem and give yourself a chance in life.
  • Create Your Own Reality ~ Use the power of your unconscious mind to transform your life.
  • Deeper Self Respect ~ Use hypnosis to connect with your true inner worth.
  • Detach From Fear ~ Tune out nervousness and anxiety with hypnosis.
  • Improving Concentration and Focus ~ Learn how to discipline, direct and command your mind to improve your performance.
  • Exercise Motivation ~ Give you powerful keys to getting back on track with your exercise - and staying there.
  • Overcoming Shyness ~ Provides an invisible security blanket allowing you to develop social ease and overcome shyness.
  • Quick Confidence Booster ~ An audio hypnosis session that's specifically designed to get you (quickly!) back on track.
  • Stop Negative Thoughts ~ Learn powerful hypnotic techniques to stop negative thoughts before they start.
  • Overcoming Procrastination ~ Let hypnosis help you get on with what you need to do, when you need to do it. Let nothing hold you back.
  • Think Thin ~ Use hypnosis to re-train your brain and lose weight naturally... that's how to get and stay slim.
  • Fall Asleep Fast ~ Relearn how to fall asleep fast and enjoy a good night's sleep.
  • The Next Level ~ Designed to radically boost your performance in any field. It's based on a technique used by top athletes and other successful people to help them make a big stride forward.
This is our selection of favorites, but there's a session for every need! Choose from over 800 Hypnosis Downloads...
Search now on an issue that interests or concerns you...
Get a free Hypnosis Download at Facebook
Copyright © 1997-2016 Trans4mind Ltd