The Thriver's Secrets to Success": It Starts With Your Attitude - Get a Grip and Go"!
By Gail H. Stone
What impact would it have on your professional and personal life if you could learn the secret of successful living known by about 25% of the people? Think about that for a minute and even pause right now and write some thoughts down. How would your life be different if you operated like a "thriver" - a person who thrives and flourishes no matter what life throws at him or her?
In Webster's II New Riverside Dictionary, the definition of thrive is: "(v) (1) to be healthy or do well: flourish. (2) to be successful: prosper." In the field of positive psychology, thriving is defined as "reconstructing life's meaning in response to life's most destructive occurrences." So, it's not that the people who thrive go around unrealistically whistling a happy tune all day long. But they are conscious creators of their lives, not mindless acceptors. They know their power lies within.
I thought I had coined the word thriver when I first set out on my speaking and coaching career in 2001. But, as I did research and reading on the topic of thriving, I found that thriver was a little known word used primarily in the medical profession to denote a group of people who, when faced with major life challenges, choose to get a grip and get on with making it through the tough times in fine fashion rather than caving in. Dr. Paul Pearsall, who wrote a great book about thrivers called the The Beethoven Factor quoted one thriver he interviewed as saying, "think of thriving as the 5 C's. Think of it as the ability to transform a life Catastrophe into a Catalyst for a Creative Change of Consciousness." I like to call thrivers "creative solutions experts".
The word survivor has had much play in the past few years through popular TV shows and books. But, here's Webster's definition of survive: "(v) to continue to live or exist. (2) to live longer than: outlive. - survival (n) - survivor (n)".
Why would you care to just "exist", when you could "flourish" in your personal and professional life? Studies done by researchers in the field known as "positive psychology" show that 75% of Americans between 25-74 do not fit the criterion of "flourishing in life". Instead a full 75% of us are seen to be languishing - "emotionally and spiritually fatigued from trying to keep up"generally devoid of highly positive and optimistic feelings towards living", as defined by Dr. Pearsall.
We'll never move ourselves, our families, our communities, our nation and our world forward in this new millennium with so many people in such a state. But the good news is that it is possible for each of us to shift out of that mode of thinking - that defeatist way of operating.
Research shows that we can all cultivate the attitude of a thriver. It starts with a willingness to do so. "Our attitudes are our mental stances, the positions we hold vis-"-vis life. In some ways our attitudes determine everything because they are the glasses through which we see the world.", writes M J Ryan in her inspirational little book, Attitudes of Gratitude. And, as Dr. Wayne Dyer, the noted psychologist and author, says, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.". I believe that change happens the moment desire meets momentum.
I encourage all of us to stop aspiring to be the last guy/gal on the island eating the few remaining bugs. It's time now to make heroes of those people who not only THRIVE in their lives, but help others thrive as well. Let's make thrivers our role models. And then let's get busy becoming thrivers ourselves and inspiring others around us to do the same.
The Thrivers Secrets To Success:
So, how would becoming a thriver affect you and your success in life? Just consider with whom you would rather do business or be around - a person flourishing or one languishing through life? Think about that and start cultivating some of these qualities. I also highly recommend these two wonderful books for anyone who wants to read more about thrivers - The Beethoven Factor by Dr. Paul Pearsall and The Eagle's Secret by David McNally.
I'll leave you with a quote from Marianne Williamson to inspire you to start thriving.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."