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Sex In Cyberspace
By Rose DesRochers
I am rubbing my keyboard are you rubbing your mouse. Cybersex is it cheating on your partner? This is a controversial issue, one that has started a good number of debates across the internet. I would have to say of course it's considered cheating; you are sharing intimate wants, needs and sexual fantasies with another person; when you should only be sharing those needs with your partner. Cybersex is described as a mediated communication that virtual ourselves with the intention of becoming turned on; intellectually, emotionally and physically.
The bonds of marriage are already under so much stress with our world today, cybersex robs a couple of intimacy and time together. When the best part of your free time is spent with someone outside of your spouse, when you would rather be with that person than your spouse, when that person is the person with whom you share your feelings, your concerns, your needs and wants, you are cheating, whether or not you have ever been in a cyber relationship or a totally physically intimate relationship. It is a physical act. Making love is as much in the mind and is it is the body and cheating is an act of the mind just as must as it is our body.
Cheating is exactly that cheating. It is cheating the person, to whom you have made a commitment, of loyalty trust love, be it of your mind or your body. So whether it is on a keyboard, on a monitor, in a conversation or in a bed, or on the phone breaking the commitment is breaking the commitment. Cheating is cheating. It destroys the bond of trust once that trust is lost it the hardest thing to ever get back. Most people just do whatever makes them happy and have no commitment to the vows they once made. They feel that they won't get caught and it no different than that of a movie but your being intimate with someone over the computer your exchanging words to turn another individual on. I have to say wake up people both people behind those keyboards are real human being. There is no train monkey typing here.
There is more ways than just one to have sex, than body to body contact.Cybersex is coming from images of the mind. You are expressing words that are arousing another. You can rationalize it all you want, "This is just cybersex, it's not real" or "I'm not emotionally attached to this person". But if you feel guilty about it, your conscience is telling you that you're doing something wrong, something that may hurt the person you're with, offline then you are cheating. Isn't cybersex just as damaging as picking someone up at a bar and going home with them?
It's entirely too easy for us to pretend that the person on the other side of the chat isn't a real, living, person. Your cyber lover's heart can be broken just as easily as your "real life" lover's heart can be. There's a lot of focus on on-line sex and I think it's really getting beyond the meet someone, masturbate and type at the same time routine. It's about relationships and communication, erotic identity and ideas." trust and betraying the one you're with.
Is it really just harmless fun? It's more than just words being typed on a screen it comes from images of the mind and if you think the other person who typing to you just laughing it up, boy are you wrong. It's also about the trading of nude pictures too and I guarantee the person on the other side typing to you does not have both hands placed on the keyboard.This is just another example where the bonds of marriage are broken. The internet can be a dangerous thing. Time for you to really look at the relationship you have and ask yourself if you really are happy and if you answer no then maybe its time you ended the marriage, instead of involving another individual in it.
You can't justify your adultery that it is online and not real. Adultery is still adultery. You cross that line the moment you begin sneaking around to share intimate thoughts with someone other than your partner. In cybersex you have secrecy; intimacy and sex are all the same elements as an affair. If you are having an affair or show signs of cyber addiction it is now time to talk to a counselor. Marriage can be beautiful but it takes communication and two people making it work.
About The Author
Rose is a published author from Canada Ontario and is also the founder of http://www.todays-woman.net a community for men and women over 18, where writers/poets/columnists meet and exchange ideas, contest, rate and review and help each other succeed in the writing industry. Check out Rose's first poetry book "She is like the wind " here and purchase poetry that is sure to be a world of emotion on a canvas that is her soul.