Bad Mood Busters
By Mary Ann Troiani
Are you in a bad mood or just unhappy? Don't worry. There are easy ways to beat a bad mood or even a bad day. Good moods or a peppy personality is not a disposition you are born with or without. And, you're not doomed to stay unhappy the rest of your life. Your level of happiness is a learned skill. It's easy to learn. Anyone can learn to bust a bad mood or look at the world through more optimistic eyes.
In my research of happy and optimistic people for my book "Spontaneous Optimism: Proven Strategies for Health Prosperity & Happiness I uncovered patterns and strategies. Practice these easy strategies in order to improve your mood and become more upbeat and optimistic.
1. Avoid Emotional Vampires
Do you attract emotional vampires or losers into your life? Are you a loser magnet?
Emotional vampires and losers literally drain our batteries, slow us down and make us upset. To become happier, optimistic and energetic -- avoid emotional vampires. Unhappy people allow "emotional vampires to suck their positive feelings right out of their skulls. Emotional vampires include people who put you down, criticize or mock you, or sabotage your dreams and aspirations.
Take survey of your life by making a list of people and situations you expose yourself to. Then, discard or limit people, habits or situations that keep you from feeling optimistic and happy. In other words, "burn your bridges if needed. Remember: Happy and optimistic people hang around with personal cheerleaders. Unhappy people surround themselves with emotional vampires.
2. De-tox Your Mind
You can de-tox your mind just as people de-tox their bodies. To get rid of negative or intruding bad thoughts, remember this "Rule of Happiness": You can only keep one thought in your mind at a time. You can focus your thoughts on either pessimistic/unhappy or optimistic/happy thoughts. It's your choice. Unhappy and pessimistic people focus on gloomy thoughts of how they could fall down and not get up. They expect the worst to happen. Happy and optimistic people expect the best. So, houseclean your head. When setbacks or problems pop-up, immediately focus on finding a solution. Unhappy and pessimistic people focus on complaining, but happy and optimistic people focus on solutions.
3. Optimism and Happiness by the Numbers
Are you obsessed with negative thoughts that lead you to a bad mood? A simple way to become happy and optimistic is to count your way to more positive thoughts. It's easy to become an expert at switching your negative and bad thoughts to more positive and upbeat thoughts and feelings. All you need to do is focus on counting and switching your bad thoughts to upbeat and uplifting thoughts. Each time you have a negative thought, immediately switch to a positive thought or solution to your woes. Write a tally mark on a pad of paper each time you switch like this each day. Your goal is to decrease the number of times you need to switch. For example, at first you may need to switch 50 times daily. In time, you will decrease it to 30, 20 or 10 times a day. If you are obsessively negative, you will become obsessively positive using this technique.
4. Change your body posture
Happy and energetic individuals take big steps, walk faster and stand taller. They seem to exude an endless supply of energy. In sharp contrast, pessimistic, unhappy and lifeless people shuffle their feet, take tiny steps, walk slowly and slouch. They appear lifeless and have burned"out their batteries. Watch how you carry your body. Use the body-posture of happy, optimistic people, such as take big steps, walk faster and stand taller. Using these techniques will help you become happy and energetic. They are easy to carry out, and will create a positive domino effect with people in your life.
5. Watch what you say -- and never say words such as "try"
To begin acting like happy and optimistic people, you need to learn what they do. Optimistic people act and talk in certain ways. For example, they use certain words. The words people use can affect their moods and energy levels. Changing your words can actually change your attitude and feelings. Use "upbeat words, instead of "upset words. For example, you can say, "I feel overwhelmed which is upsetting. Or, you can say, "I feel challenged "nevertheless I can do it which is upbeat.
One of the most interesting differences between happy and unhappy people is that happy people never or rarely use the word "try or "but." These two words leave people feeling hopeless and not in-control of their lives. Happy people feel hopeful, and take tons of responsibility for their lives. The words "try and "but are excuses, and unhappy people have a bad case of "excus-itis.
6. Focus on What You Want & Not On What You Don't Want
Worry is the #1 happiness and energy zapper. The fastest way to fill yourself with endless joy and energy is to stop worrying. How can you do that? Each time you have a negative thought, immediately switch it to a positive thought such as a solution to your woes. People who focus on solutions rather than problems are optimistic, happy and very high energy.
7. Pursue What You Love To Do and It Will Light Your Fire
The best way to start your day and jump out of bed with an enthusiastic mood is to find your passion. Find out what thrills you and you'll find boundless new energy to jump out of bed and start the day with a great mood. People who have no energy in the morning or even during the day are really lost souls. They do not have a real reason to get out of bed each day. Finding your passion or what thrills you in life can turn you on each day, light your fire and boost your mood.
Anyone can become more upbeat and optimist. When people use these techniques, they invariably feel a heavy burdens lift off their shoulders. They feel positive, upbeat, and confident. You only need a few minutes to put these tips into action. They can be your key to enhanced life including your health, wealth, and career success.
Remember: Optimism is the hidden key to your personal success. Optimists possess a clear vision of an exciting life, confidently work on goals to achieve their vision, and take self-responsibility. In contrast, pessimists have no clear vision of a fantastic life, and they love to complain, blame, and moan. So which do you want to be ---- happy & optimistic or unhappy and pessimistic? The choice is all yours.
© Copyright 2005 Maryann Troiani, Psy.D.
About The Author
Mary Ann Troiani, Psy.D., is a speaker, media personality and consultant with The Mercer Group, Inc., in Barrington, Illinois. She co-authored the book, "SPONTANEOUS OPTIMISM: Proven Strategies for Health, Prosperity & Happiness". Dr. Troiani has tele-coached many people. You can email her at drmary@mercersystems or call 847-382-0690.